Surprise! Obama is NOT Superman

During the past few weeks, being the comic book geek that I am, I imagined now would be the perfect time for Superman. He's plug up that erupting volcano so air traffic in Europe would not be disrupted and for an afternoon follow-up, he'd stop the oil from flowing into the Gulf. But guess what? Superman is not real. And guess what else, America--Barack Obama is not going to find a convenient supply closet in the White House and switch into his super-suit and fly down to the New Orleans to stop the leak all by himself. I believe a lot of people think he has the power to do it, but is just being lazy going off the fundraisers for Barbara Boxer. Maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration, but there were unrealistic expectations for Obama. So many were so relieved he wasn't Bush, they thought he could do anything. "Hey, he's un-Bush-Man! That's just as good as Superman!"

The ironic thing is the oil spill is not Obama's fault, but he's going to get the blame for it because it happened on his watch. What every rock-dumb American voter angry with the President does not realize is that this situation and the financial crisis and quite a few other crises were caused by his predecessor--if not W directly that the philosophy of the Republican Party, which is the less government interference in big business, the better. So Bush and his dad and Ronnie had been dismantling regulations to keep companies like BP from indulging in risky behaviour. As a result, we get lax safety standards, and big oil spills. Drill, baby, drill, indeed. I hope Sarah and Rudy can sleep at night after having chanted that dumb slogan. Maybe they will wake up to find an oil-coated pelican in their beds.

What's really ironic is Obama will get the blame and we'll have a Repub Congress and President who will push for even less regulation. These Tea Partiers want no government in their lives--and this is the direct result. People like Rand Paul are popular in Kentucky and states like that because they preach that junk--I heard he was named for Ayn Rand which makes sense since she believed if you had the right philosophy and were talented and smart enough and looked like Gary Cooper, it was perfectly all right to blow up a building if it offended your aesthetic sensibility. (Fountainhead reference)

Now it looks like the oil will continue flowing into August until they can finish drilling a second hole to relieve the pressure. I have a bad feeling Obama will become associated with this just like Carter became synonomous with the Iran hostage crisis. Then the repubs will cast some white knight--literally--to ride in to the rescue and then we'll find out he's not Superman either. Or if it's Sarah Palin, that she's not Wonder Woman.

The Amazing Race 16--Episode 11 and Finale

It's been weeks since TAR 16 ended and even longer since I've written a blog on that show, or anything else for that matter. BTW, I know tonight is the last episode of Lost and I could give less than a flying fig as Dorothy said on that episode of the Golden Girls when she was waiting for a call from her married lover played by Jerry Orbach. For the past two months I have been rushing from one show to another and from one award event to the next. When the Broadway season ends, everyone gives out endless awards. Tonight is the latest of these, the Drama Desk Awards and I will be taking a train from upstate to the city to attend. I will write more about that in the next blog, but for now I fell compelled to wrap up my reactions to the latest Amazing Race.

Episode 11 began in Shanghai where the cheapskate producers confided the racers to the same city as the previous leg rather than have them fly to another city. The idea was basically for the four teams to battle it out for the final three slots. Team Such As actually stepped up their game and did an excellent job. Caite mastered her counting skills and they lucked out with a good cab driver while the gay-straight brothers had the worst one on the whole race--though it was kind of ridic of Dan to think they would find an English-speaking driver in China. As Mrs. Gibbs said in Our Town, there are people in the world who don't talk in English and don't even want to. The Undercover Cops had the extremely difficult Speed Bump of tossing coins into the mouth of an idol. Why don't they just call it the Millisecond Delay and be more accurate! I am sick of these ultra-easy speed bumps. In fact, this whole race has been like the dumbed-down version. (More on that in the next episode) So I have to give credit to Team Such As. I admit it, they are not as dumb as they look.

But in the final episode all their hard work was for naught. With the cops gone, it was pretty much anybody's game. But Dan and Jordan totally turned it up a notch. Their strategy was to be meek little twinks, not be a threat, and just get to the final three. Then push everyone out of the way and cross the finish line. I wouldn't have butted ahead of the cowboys at the Shanghai airport, but Jordan knew there would be nothing the cowboys could do about it since hitting another team is grounds for expulsion. On the flight to San Francisco, they sneaked into first class. In previous episodes, it was revealed teams are not allowed to fly in anything other than tourist. But I guess the technicality is that Dan and Jordan bought their tickets in economy and where they actually sit doesn't matter (????)

I think the gay-straight brothers really wanted to win badly and it showed in their determination in the final leg. The claws were out and they didn't care who got scratched. Team Such As reverted to whiny adolescents when they drew a bad cabbie ("Oh this is so unfair!") and were basically out of the running as soon as they got off the plane. That left the cowboys and the brothers and the latter were just hungrier than Jet and Cord. The final memory challenge had to be the easiest ever. Remember when they had to get the flags of the countries they visited in order? That was HARD. And the one with the various items from the challenges having to weight exactly the right amount? This time all they had to do was remember who got eliminated in which leg.

The finish line finale was totally ruined for me with the bitch fight between Caite and Brandy (or was it Carol?) That has NEVER happened before on an Amazing Race finale when a THIRD-PLACE finisher has an argument with a losing rival. It was obviously for ratings since Caite is pretty and popular. It was awful and embarassing and took away the spotlight from the winners--Dan and Jordan. It's their triumph, their moment in the sun should not be eclipsed by a stupid grudge match. Brandy made an absolute fool of herself. She should have just said, "It's over. You got to the Uturn first, it's a game and you did want you had to do to get ahead." Plus they got a quote from ANOTHER loser--the Big Brother guy Jeff. Who cares what he thinks? He lost...BIG TIME!!! Again it was for ratings. Lots of people watch Big Brother so they needed to give that team some airtime beyond cheering on the winners. I thought Emmy winning Amazing Race was better than that. And BTW, screw you Donald Trump with your sour-grapes over losing the Emmy every time. Get over it.

Overall, this was an exciting season and the best part was that a single team did not dominate. Last season that blonde couple came in first something like seven times. It was pretty clear they would win the big prize. This time the cowboys and the police won the most, but they made plenty of mistakes too. So it could have been anybody and it was great that an underdog team like Dan and Jordan surged ahead at the end.

Day 18--Still in Shanghai, find bridge, count statues, find stamp, really hard stuff

Day 19--fly to San Francisco

Day 20--final leg

Dan and Jordan--BIG WINNERS, $1,000,000 plus one previous win, loot: two motorbikes
Jet and Cord--four wins, Loot: two sailboats, trip to Patagonia, trip to Maui, trip to Alaska
Louie and Michael--three wins, Loot: two Discover Cards worth $5,000 each, two 55-inch HD TVs, trip to Cancun
Branden and Caite--one win, Loot: trip to Spain
Jeff and Jordan--one win, Loot: trip to Vancouver
Steve and Allie--one win, Loot: $7,000 each, relaxing dinner and massage on the beach and "all the 7-Up they can drink"

The Amazing Race 16 -- Episode 10--Shanghaied by the Double Roadblock

Note: April and early May have been extrememly busy what will all the Broadway shows opening just before the Tonys, two bomb scares in Times Square, Lynn Redgrave passing, and attending all the award nominations announcements and events. I wrote this blog on Episode 10 of the Amazing Race 16 weeks ago and thought I would get back to it sooner. Anyway, here it is for all two of you who care and I will catch up with last week's episode and the finale in the next blog.

We are nearing the end of Season 16 of the Amazing Race and it's anyone's game. I like this season because there is no one team dominating the whole time like that brother and sister of two seasons back or that blonde couple last season. The remaining four teams are where they are just as much because of luck as skill. The cowboys seem to have the advantage with four wins, but they have slipped back at times because of not reading the clues carefully. In this sense Carol and Brandy were right when they said Team Such As were stupid for U-turning them because of one off-hand comment about tiaras. (BTW, I think I mixed up Carol and Brandy in the last blog, whoever is the brunette with the short hair is the whiny one, the blonde isn't so bad.) Team Such As should have U-turned the cowboys because they were a bigger threat. The detectives were right to U-turn Joe and Heidi back in France because they were obnoxious AND a threat.

So the playing field is pretty level. Dan and Jordan leave at 4:47 PM--it must be Day 17 because they were in Singapore at Day 16 and they are going to give them at least a full day to rest. I think that 12-hour rest period idea is gone with the wind. The next destination is Shanghai which is at least several hours away. Everyone eats at the MacDonald's at the Singapore airport. I'll bet Brett and Caite picked it out. They are all in Shanghai at 6:10AM of Day 18. This was fun because it's one of the cities I've actually been to. Shanghai was extremely crowded and full of colonial archeticture when I was there in the early 1990s. It was part of a package tour which included Peking, Xian, and Suzhou.I got sick for a day but I was well enough to visit the Shanghai circus.

The four teams endured the first-ever double roadblock episode with Jordan crying like a baby because his noodles wouldn't straighten out properly. Then they raced by to the glamorous Shanghai fashion district for a Project Runway style challenge and a lot of jokes at Jordan's expense. Everyone assumed the gay guy would be able to match the outfits in a breeze, but they all did pretty well. The hang-up was at the football stadium and putting together that puzzle. I know it was a non-elimination because Phil didn't say "You are in the final three for the one million dollars." So the detectives are still in it since they came in way behind everyone else. It was so much better when they took all your posessions and money, that was a real challenge, not just taking some tea to an old guy. I reall want Caite and Brent out but I have a bad feeling the brothers will go. But maybe not. The promo showed Dan having a meltdown because of a slow cab driver, which means it doesn't always turn out the way it appears in the promo. I will have to catch up with episode 11 before the big finale on Mother's day.

Day 17--leave Singapore, flight for Shanghai leaves after midnight.

Day 18--arrive Shanghai, taxi to Zhujiajhao, noodle roadblock, back to Shanghai, fashion challenge, puzzle roadblock at football stadium

Jet and Cord--four wins, Loot: two sailboats, trip to Patagonia, trip to Maui, trip to Alaska
Louie and Michael--three wins, Loot: two Discover Cards worth $5,000 each, two 55-inch HD TVs, trip to Cancun
Dan and Jordan--one win, Loot: two motorbikes
Jeff and Jordan--one win, Loot: trip to Vancouver
Steve and Allie--one win, Loot: $7,000 each, relaxing dinner and massage on the beach and "all the 7-Up they can drink"

Project Runway Season 7: Episode 14: The Final Runway Show

Season 7 of Project Runway wrapped up with the final runway show and the last three designers bitching about each other's collection. Emilio called Mila's black-and-white 60s fest "severe" and "demure." How is it possible to be both at the same time? Mila's designs were somewhat predictable but they were very well made. She took the judges' advice and roughed up the models. I particularly liked that spy trench coat Brandeis was wearing and the mini-glitter cocktail skirt was Mila's best piece.

Seth Aaron took Tim's advice too literally and made his ho-hum collection into Nazis on parade, stating his inspiration as Russian and German military garb. The perfect ensemble for the next time you attend a Nuremberg rally. All of his models looked like Veronika Voss with fat lips or like they were about to burst into Lili Marlene. One girl resembled a piece of black forest chocolate cake. Another was a black widow spider. And why did Seth Aaron's hair make him look like he was wearing earmuffs?

In spite of his bragging, Emilio's designs impressed me the most. They were very wearable and cohesive with the matching shades of red and blue. I like that he went from daywear to evening wear.

I heard that the producers had to pay for a total of 10 collections because Fashion Week occured when there were 10 designers still on the show. I will try to find footage of the decoy designers. I wonder how they worked it. Did they all have to run abd be in the audience when the others were on so no one could figure out who was a finalist?

Anyway, once again, the judges go for the weird over the wearable by picking Seth Aaron over Emilio. Emilio breaks down and Seth Aaron's family greets him on the runway. I wonder what Seth's teenage son told his friends at school?

Project Runway Season 7: Episode 13: Mila-Jay Face Off

Okay, it's really Part 1 of the season finale, but I want to call it Episode 13. Another expense account trip for Tim Gunn to Vancouver, WA, and then Los Angeles and San Francisco to visit the designers as they work on their collections. For some reason, he goes to Washington state first, then NY, then LA and SF. Why not just fly to Seattle or wherever, then go to California, and then then fly back to NYC to bitch with Emilio. Maybe it was Tim's schedule. I just saw on his facebook page that he's writing a book and making appearances all over the place.

Anyway, Tim first arrives at Seth Aaron's modest little cottage in Vancouver which apparently has a squirrel problem (did you notice the Warning: Attack Squirrel sign?) We see that Seth has produced like 5,000 dresses and Tim hates them all. Well, he doesn't hate them, they're just the same old Seth Aaron thing and Tim bluntly tells a crestfallen Seth he won't win with this sorry-ass collection. In the promo, they fooled us into thinking that's what he told Emilio after saying "You do what you want." After picking his ego off the floor, Seth Aaron introduces Tim to his wife and kids and they all play Pictionary. Then they take take Tim out into the backyard and force him to jump on the trampoline. Funny, you don't think of fashion designers has having houses in the suburbs with wives and adoloscent kids.

Then we're treated to stock footage of the Bronx in the 1970s to give us an idea of Emilio's tortured childhood which still doesn't explain the weird print dress and the washer-strewn bikini. Tim meets Emilio's brothers underneath a bridge as if they're doing a drug deal. What, they didn't have time for a meal at home or even a restaurant? Emilio steps into his time machine and shows Tim his collection from 1943. This is the part where Tim says "You do what you want" and Emilio gets all Kenley on his ass and says Tim doesn't know what he's talking about because he doesn't wear women's clothes. WHAT? That's like when Lou and Edie Grant went to a marriage counselor on The Mary Tyler Moore Show and Lou was pissed that the counsellor had never been married so how could he know anything about marital problems. The counsellor replies "You don't have to be a whale to write Moby Dick." (I hope you enjoyed that little trip into my mind, that's just the way it works.)

Next Tim racks up more frequent flyer miles to Los Angeles and Mila displays her work, It's all geometric and black and white (WHAT A SURPRISE!) Her inspiration is shadows. How cheerful! Tim accurately dubbed the collection matronly and gives Mila Laura Bush's phone number since she would be the ideal client. Mila then introduces her family and boyfriend to Tim. Even the goddamn dog is black and white! Was Mila frightened by a color TV as a child?

Tim takes the short flight or the long train ride like in that episode of Big Bang Theory (Don't you think Sheldon is gay, but I digress) to visit Jay who has made a Blade Runner-Doctor Who collection with outer-space sleeves. Tim loves most of it but asks "What the fuck is up with these ribbons for sleeves?" Jay and Mila then give Best Supporting Actress Oscar performances as they cry about how much they want to win. M'onique and Cloris Leachman play them in the movie version.

In New York, the final four occupy the same suite. Tim greets everyone and did you notice Emilio did not go to hug him like everyone else and just shook his hand?

Jay and Mila play out a "talking it out" scene which looks like they're in an Ingmar Bergman movie. After making up, they are told they have three hours to prepare for their presentation. Mila makes the brilliant observation, "Jay's got color. Not good for me." DUH! Did she honestly think everyone else was a black and white as her?

The final smackdown is very close. Mila is too retro, but the looks are very cohesive and well-tailored. The spangled cocktail dress is very pretty and goes with the other two items which look like Mila's mother wore them 40 years ago. Jay is the other extreme with techno Judy Jetson looks and epaulets everywhere. Heidi wants Mila. Michael wants Jay. Nina is on the fence. Heidi must has threatened to auf the other two during the break because Mila wins. Jay gives another brilliant Oscar winning performance as he ungraciously accepts defeat and bursts into tears. But we all know his collection will be shown at the tents, it just won't be on TV. I'm sure it will be on YouTube somewhere. Next week is the final runway show.

The Amazing Race 16--Episode 9--Hate Is All Around, No Need to Waste It

Now I hate Team Such As AND Carol and Brandy AND the Daddy Wolves/Undercover Guys. Well, not Brandy, but Carol needs to get a life. I love Dan and Jordan like I've loved very few TAR teams and I still love the cowboys. I hated Team Such As from the beginning, but did they have to go on and on about U-Turning the lesbians. Then Carol would just not shut up about how stupid Brent and Caite are. OK, I still think they're dumb as a pile of wet leaves too, but they smoked your asses, ladies. Carol really lost it for me entirely when she couldn't conceive why Team Such As would U-Turn them and then failed to show an ounce of prespective after being eliminated. Most teams talk about how much they enjoyed the race and each other and how they got to see so many many incredible places and people here on God's earth, but these two just bitched till the bitter end.

I now hate Michael and Louis because they were gonna steal Carol and Brandy's cab (Michael to Singapore cabbie: "They are mean, they'll be mean to you." Meaning what? They won't tip him?) Plus they're using Brent and Caite to get rid of Carol and Brandy. I think they couldn't use the U turn again because they had already U Turned the King of Siam and his vassal Tuptim, otherwise known as Joe and Heidi. I pray the cops have to do something really nasty to their wolf cubs on the next leg. Okay, hate's a strong word. I don't like that they act all friendly and decent when they'd stab any other team in the back to get ahead.

The two "nice" teams left are the two sets of brothers. I loved what Dan and Jordan said about not elbowing anyone else and just concentrating on running the race their own way. They proved that by coming from last place in the previous episode, getting to the clue first in Singapore and taking advantage of the fast forward. (Remember when every leg of the race had a fast forward? I think this was the only leg that had both a fast forward and a U Turn.) Jordan overcame his fear of heights on that giant ferris wheel which reminded me of the London Eye.

Other observations: The cowboys are always wearing those tight jeans and thick T-shirts. Didn't they pack any shorts so they wouldn't sweat so much in the tropical climates? I've been to Bangkok and, man, is it hot there.

Nice that they used the host of The Amazing Race Asia for a cameo, but it would have been interesting to see clips from that show. Maybe on the CBS website?

Now I have to wait two weeks because of the stupid Country Music Awards pre-empting the next episode. I wonder how much they paid Jet and Cord to do the promo? We're up to episode nine and they are only four teams left. CBS better not be cutting back on the number of episodes along with the plane trips. There are supposed to be 12 segments; that leaves three more. How is this gonna work? A two-parter? One more non-elimination? Everybody pray Team Such As gets the boot, they must not prove stupidity wins the day. Sarah Palin has already done enough damage in that department.

Day 15--Bus from Penang to Kuala Lumpur, to train for Singapore which doesn't leave until 9:30 PM.

Day 16--Arrive in Singapore, Dan and Jordan do fast-forward, other teams ice cream or drums, count chains, zip-line

Louie and Michael--three wins, Loot: two Discover Cards worth $5,000 each, two 55-inch HD TVs, trip to Cancun
Jet and Cord--three wins, Loot: two sailboats, trip to Patagonia, trip to Maui
Dan and Jordan--one win, Loot: two motorbikes
Jeff and Jordan--one win, Loot: trip to Vancouver
Steve and Allie--one win, Loot: $7,000 each, relaxing dinner and massage on the beach and "all the 7-Up they can drink"

Project Runway Season 7: Episodes 11 and 12--Costume Party

There were so many twists and turns in Episode 11 of Project Runway I needed a full week to recover from the whiplash. First Maya dropped out, then Valerie took that DKNY job after turning it down the previous week. That really freaked me since she gave such an Best-Supporting-Actress-Oscar performance on the runway in her big speech to Seth Aaron about how much faith she had in him and would be anything to stay with him all the way to Bryant Park. But then I saw on Models of the Runway where they offered her double her usual fee and I couldn't really blame her for taking the job. Then Seth Aaron basically told me to fuck off when he addressed the viewers about Maya's leaving. "We all work so hard and are under such pressure, so anyone watching this and passing judgement on Maya can f--k off!" Well, screw you right back, Seth Aaron with your zippers and tailoring. I'm an American citizen and it's my God-given right to pass judgement on anyone whose kisser is on my TV machine! I'm more with Emilio who said "Quitters never win." Yeah, I hope Sarah Palin was watching.

So Anthony comes on to replace Maya and right away quotes "Gypsy" so I know we're back on the right course. (I think I'll make a separate blog about references to musical comedy in more mainstream culture that only gays will get.) The challenge was a red carpet dress for Heidi. How original and didn't they already do a make-a-dress-for-Heidi challenge? The guest judge was Jessica Alba, such a big star (NOT! what has she been in besides those Fantastic Four movies?) and she showed her lack of taste by gushing over Anthony's meh! drapey thing. I didn't find it exciting at all. Emilio did deserve to win with his glittery copper gown. We found out a little bit too much about Jay's big-butt fetish. Jonathan's shower curtain with a couple red towels on it got him eliminated and he really did deserve it this time. Irish Carrie who took Valeria's place was bounced for the second time in a row, so she went out and got drunk with Brandise ("Yiz can kiss me arse").

Episode 12 sent the remaining five designers to the circus where Jay ogled the acrobats' pecs. This was actually fun and there used to more instances of field trips (even flights to Paris) and weird challenges like designing costumes for ice skaters, female wrestlers, drag queens, postal workers, beauty pageant contestants,and relatives of the other designers. There should be more challenges like that. The idea was to design a dress influenced by the circus, but Seth Aaron and Mila made costumes FOR the circus. Both their outfits looked like they had taken too many drugs after viewing the new Alice in Wonderland movie. What's with those long sleeves, Seth? And Mila's model looked like she was auditioning to play a vampire villain on an episode of Doctor Who. Jay once again made a big butt outfit and Anthony made a huge goof with a blue polyesther thing from a 1970s beauty pageant. Despite his boasting, Emilio did deserve to win and I'm glad he listened to Tim and added more color. But I foresee problems between them when Tim visits. Also, it looks like Emilio has found a new catchphrase--"Come hard!" I'm getting the T-shirt tomorrow.

I was surprised when they announced the run-off between Mila and Jay. I thought Mila would take it because she's been more consistant if not as risk-taking as Jay. Actually both did show at Bryant Park, only one of them was on TV. I hope Mila steps outside her geometric black shapes and tries something different so Nina will finally approve of her again. I liked that Emilio said he's rather compete with Seth Aaron and Mila because they were the strongest ones, even though I don't think he likes Mila.