The Amazing Race Episode 10--A Kafka-esque Experience

Once again, ignornace of world literature trips up players on the Amazing Race. Big Easy obviously did not read Kafka in college or he would have remembered that Franz was the guy's first name and he was from Prague. Just like last season, when only Victor recalled Chekhov was the name of a Russian playwright and was able to spell his name.


The more serious question is was Sam (or was it Dan?) wrong in not giving Big Easy the answer after agreeing to work with him? He was right not to help since it worked in knocking the Globetrotters out of the game and leaving a weaker team--Brian and Ericka to compete against. But he did say he would work with Big Easy, implying that if he got the right answer, he'd share it. I would not have agreed to work together with Big Easy in the first place since at this late stage of the game every second counts. The brothers are being roundly condemned for stealing Brian and Ericka's cab last week and now not living up to their word, but their strategy is working. However, Chayne was almost as bad when he told Brian and Ericka he'd call them a cab a few weeks ago and never did. I agree with all the Sam and Dan haters who are tired of their bickering and screaming. Dan is a big baby, moaning about how heavy their golem was and continually telling Sam to shut up.

This was one of the better episodes since there was no time wasted at the airport and it was in a city I have visited. I remembers several of the sights including the Charles Bridge and the synagogue. The speed bump for Brian and Ericka looked easy--drinking some absinthe--but then they all seem to be. The poker chicks had to deliver some tea and Pinkie and the Brain had to sit in a sauna.

The suspense was good because it was never entirely clear if the Globetrotters would be eliminated since there was the possibility the broken arm on Sam and Dan's golem could have disqualified them or delivering the booze would have taken too long for Brian and Ericka. I also enjoyed seeing Sam, Dan and Brian shirtless in the deep freeze cabinet. I don't feel too badly for the Globetrotters, they won a trip to Turks and Calcos and some other prizes, plus they must make at least six figures each as professional athletes so they don't really need the $1 million prize.

Chayne and Meghan will probably win--I hate it when one team wins most of the time. Sam and Dan will fight too much and Brian and Ericka aren't as organized and skillful with Ericka always bitching about how everything's so hard.

Day 15--(or so, there's no way of telling if they've had more than one day of rest)--Kafka challenge with ringing telephones and stone-faced bureaucrats which probably none of them got the references to kafka's work, Flight Time and Big Easy give up and take four-hour penalty; Brian and Ericka have boozy speed bump; Cryo-freeze chamber; Golem or beer delivery road block; Cheyne and Meghan win again--two flat-screen TVs. Globetrotters eliminated.

Scenes from the Life of an Amateur Comic Book Collector (8)

Just before Thanksgiving I went on another comic buying binge at Time Machine. I know; it's getting bad. Soon I might have to join Comic Buyers Anonymous. This haul includes

House of Mystery 156, 158, 170, 171, 173

Mystery in Space 107

Metal Men 10

Thor 157

Strange Adventures 130

I bought a bunch of House of Mysteries (or Houses of Mystery) because the feature of this comic during the latge 1960s was Dial H for Hero, starring young Robby Reed, a nerdy kid with blonde hair and glasses who resembled a guy I went to junior high school with who was not the typical nasty idiot but an actual nice person (I don't remember his name). Anyway, while cave exploring (how science geeky can you get?) Robby finds a mystery dial--much like Dr. Don Blake finds Thor's legendary hammer. When he dials the letters H-E-R-O he becomes a grown-up superhero, a different one each time.

Imagine the psychological impact--a small, weak bookworm tranforms into a muscular, superpowerful champion at the spin of a dial. Robby lives with his grandfather--affectionately called Gramps--and the housekeeper Miss Millie in the town of Littleville (I guess because Smallville was already taken). It follows Robby's parents are dead. Presumably Gramps and Miss Millie are in a platonic relationship, so Robby has no role models. He's probably teased at school for his brain (in the comic he has friends and roller skates and has impromptu dance parties with the all the other kids, but let's take the more realistic view that he's an intellectual outcast). Now he has a big secret he can share with no one--he's all those dozens of supermen flying around Littleville.

His numerous alter egos include Quakemaster, The Squid, Baron Buzzsaw, Don Juan, Sphinx Man, The Human Icicle, Strata Man, Gill Man, Whirl-i-gig, the Yankee Doodle Kid, the Mole, Giant Boy (a little too close to Collosal Boy of the Legion of Super-Heroes), Chief Mighty Arrow, the Mighty Moppet, and many others. How does he cope with it and what about his burgeoning sexuality? In House of Mystery 170, he tranforms into a flying version of Don Juan while vacationing in Spain. While battling a gang of smugglers, he is mobbed like a rock star by local ladies (who are all dressed as if they were in a production of Carmen). How would that make a kid in a man's body feel? He runs away as the women tear at his clothes like the chorus of The Bacchae. Does he ever just get horny and think to himself, "I'll dial myself into a big, hunky superhero and grab that snooty girl from English Lit. She'll fall for me, we'll have a date, I'll definitely score, then return to being Robby." Or maybe he's in the closet and imagines transforming in a big hunky superhero and flying to the Village or San Francisco.

The Mystery in Space of this era featured a similar split personality protagonist in the form of Ultra, a space pilot who through a freak accident takes on a composite body with four equal parts belonging to different aliens. He can never reveal to his girlfriend he is really her fiance. He's not as interesting as Robby. More thoughts on these vital topics later.

Thanksgiving Friday with George of the Jungle

It's the end of the Thanksgiving weekend. This Sunday brings to mind four-day vacations from school. It also meant more cartoons--I don't recall if it also meant more Broadway musicals, because I don't think Macy's parade did numbers from Main Stem tuners back then. Anyway, one Thanksgiving we were visiting relatives in Massachusetts and the Friday after Thanksgiving, ABC was showing its entire Saturday morning line-up. They even had a commercial promoting it with an animated turkey playing a rock guitar. I recall watching it with my brother in the basement of a cousin's house. I had to be 1968 and the shows included the Hanna-Barbera version of The Fantastic Four, which was pretty sophisticated for a kid's cartoon, Spider-Man, also sophisticated, and George of the Jungle, a very funny parody of Tarzan made by the same people who did Rocky and Bullwinkle, Hoppity Hooper, the Quisp and Quake and Cap'n Crunch commercials.

When I recently visited my parents in Philly, a Blockbuster video store was going out of business and I found a DVD of George of the Jungle episodes (all 17) for $10. I had earlier not bought a Jonny Quest DVD for $10 which I had regretted ever since. So I snapped it up. Very funny, grown-up humor. George is a clumsy, hunky apeman who perpetually crashes into trees while swinging to the rescue and is so dumb he thinks his elephant Shemp is a big, long nosed doggie. As an example of the sophiticated humor, in one episode, an evil witch doctor is aiming darts at a board which reads "Medicare." In another George is exhibits his skill in animal calling. He calls for hippos and a tribe of long-haired weirdos shows up. "George, you called for the hippies, not the hippos," explains his assistant. an Ape named Ape who speaks with a Ronald Coleman accent. The George cartoons are not as funny as the supporting features which appeared weekly--Super Chicken and Tom Slick.

Super Chicken is a riotous send-up of superheroes with millionaire playchicken Henry Cabot Henhouse III who is in reality the super-powered fowl battling for truth and justice against such villains as the Zipper, the Oyster, the Noodle, the Fat Man, Salivador Rag Dolly, Merlin Brando (who lives on the Isle of Lucy), and the Laundry Man (an incredibly racist stereotype of a Chinese villain). In one episode, a mad scientist creates a giant raging toupee which Super Chicken subdoes by causing it to worry thus making its gigantic hair fall out. He is assisted by a lion named Fred who appears to be his butler, but is dressed in a red sweater with a backwards F and sneakers. (I found the above illustration with Super Chicken and Fred which is a panel from a George of the Jungle comic book which I had as a kid.)

Tom Slick is a race car driver whose overwhelming goodsportsmanship is a source of annoyance for his main nemesis Baron Otto Matic. Every week Tom would convert his car the Thunderbolt Grease-Slapper into a balloon, drag racer, locomotive, snowmobile, submarine, skateboard, etc. for a big race. He was accompanied by Marigold, a lovely young lady, and Gertie Growler, a caustic old lady (with the same voice as Super Chicken). owner of a garage and presumably his mechanic. My favorite villain on Tom Slick was Sonia Nar and her Aqua-Nuts who lived in Drown Town (a metropolis beneath the waves) and who supplied the dirty tricks to stop Slick during a submarine race. June Foray gave her the same voice as Natasha Fatale on Rocky and Bullwinkle.

This Thanksgiving in between cleaning out the gutters and putting up the fake Christmas tree, I watched a few George of the Jungle episodes and they made me feel nine again. Other cartoons of the era I remember enjoying are Frankenstein Junior and the Impossibles, Birdman and the Galaxy Trio, the Super Six, Underdog ( I recently met George S. Irving who was the narrator on that show at a reading of a George Bernard Shaw play), and the Superman-Batman Adventure Hour. You can tell I spent entirely too much time in front of the TV just like now.

Why Are Republicans Eating Each Other Alive?

I hate to admit it but the GOP is in a fairly good position for 2010. There is growing dissatisfaction with Obama because he doesn't seem to be able to clean up the enormous pile of shit left behind by the previous administration with a wave of his magic wand. The economy hasn't been fixed and it's been almost a whole year. C'mon already, what are you waiting for, the impatient babies of the nation are whining. So the Repubs can take advantage of that by seizing the volatile independents in the middle who have no political convictions, they just want their meals on the table, cheap tickets to NASCAR and for their asses not to bet blown up.

But the party of Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt seems to shooting itself in the collective foot--or rather the right foot is stomping on the left. But skewing to the extreme right with these tea bag nut jobs, they risk losing the center. You win elections by kissing up to the middle. Just ask Barack and Bill and both Bushes. Even Ronnie knew enough not get too Archie Bunker-ish.

The tea parties will definitely help them in the south, but it will kill them up north. Ironic isn't it since tea parties started in Boston.

So I am kinda worried about the midterms, but I still feel OK for 2012. How have they got to challenge Obama? Palin is a joke but a dangerous one that some take seriousky. Huckabee is even-tempered and presents a pleasant front, but is too religious. Romney is an insincere stiff and the evangelics think he's a heretic because he's a Mormon. Maybe someone will emerge we haven't even thought of yet. But Obama's saving grace may be that independents will think he's not so bad when you compare him to the crop of losers on the other side.

Carrie Prejean and Levi Johnston--Exploiters or Exploited?--with a Wink to Adam Lambert

In the ongoing political media circus where the competing rings are entertanment and politics--and the two sometimes spill over--two figures have recently emerged who are attempting to stretch out their allotted 15 minutes. Both are prostitutes to a certain degree in that they are trading on their seuxal appeal in exchange for notreiety and money, but one is a hypocrite about it and the other is not.

If you haven't guessed which is which, Carrie Prejean is the hypocrite and Levi Johnston is the honest whore. Prejean has been riding her high moral horse onto the sets of Today, Larry King, The View, etc. while Johnston makes no bones about flashing his youthful physique for cash. Both of these brain trusts were thrust into the spotlight as a result of the confused sexual politics of America 2009. Prejean gave a confused politically incorrect answer to an inappropriate question asked by an idiotic gossip columnist at a beauty pageant. Johnston had the good or bad luck--depending on how you look at it--of not using contraception with the daughter of a symbol of traditional marriage (meaning you're supposed to be a virign when you waltz down the aisle).

Now don't get me wrong. Prejean has every right to express her opinions on gay marriage, just like Jefferson Davis had every right to say he supported slavery. But who cares what a beauty contestant thinks about hot political topics? What have civil rights got to do with your ability to fill out a bathing suit and sashay around in a tacky evening gown? The wrinkle here is she claims she's standing up for family values and was smacked down for it by the liberal media. HA! It turns out this skank has eight---count 'em eight--solo sex tapes floating around. Plus countless topless photos. So it's not like she made one little mistake. And the evidence seems to indicate she knowingly exploited herself, no big bad pornographer forced her to make these tapes or pictures. So who is she to look down on anyone for their sexuality? This paragon of het marriage would deny us gays social sanction for our unions while she's been selling videos of her body.

Johnston is just trying to take advantage of his sudden fame. His mom has been arrested for dealing drugs. He hasn't got a job--I don't think. So why not. His ex-future mother-in-law was exploiting him by using him as a prop at the Republican National Convention (Look at my nice normal family, we're just like the Brady Bunch, family trumps experience every time, America), so why shouldn't he do some exploiting of his own?

And speaking of sexual hypocrisy what is all this indignation over Adam Lambert on the AMAs? What about Justin Timberlake ripping off Janet Jackson's top at the Superbowl? I notice nobody got upset with him over that. What responsible parent is going to let their kid up that late anyway? I can see the simulated oral sex upsetting some people, but it was really the male kiss that pissed everybody off. They couldn't even get away with guys tonguing each other on Will and Grace. There has been more man kissing on Brothers and Sisters in the past season, but America still has a problem with open expression of gay male love. Women doing it don't seem to bother them that much. I think there was not as much of a ruckus when Madonna kissed that other female pop star because they knew it was just for a laugh and not real. Maybe Adam and Carrie should have a debate.

Amazing Race Episodes 7,8 and 9

I'm finally catching up with the vital job of giving my impressions of my favorite reality shows. We're getting down to the wire on the Amazing Race and the teams are showing their true colors. In tonight's episode in Prague, Brian and Ericka are still naively believing they can play fair and get ahead while Sam and Dan are stealing their cab. Last week, Megan and Chayne said they'd call a cab for Team Zebra and never did. Stealing a cab was uncool and I would not have done that. However, this week Chayne was perfectly justified in taking a cab at the tram station while the Globetrotters waited. He was taking advantage of an opportunity and not being sneaky or rude as whiny Megan was bitching he was.

Sam and Dan are bickering constantly now and I'm getting tired of it. So I won't be heartbroken if they lose and Cheyne and Megan win. Though it was pretty dumb of Megan to say she wanted to work with the Globetrotters when they didn't need to. According to the preview, it looks like they are stuck in Prague for another episode and Brian and Ericka will probably not make the final three.

Summary of the last three legs:
Still Day 11--Teams leave Amsterdam at 9:30 PM, have to wait in airport for morning flights to Stockholm. Day 12--Arrive Stockholm, Tivoli Gardens, then dynamite challenge, switchback--haystack roadblock, Flight Time and Big Easy win trip to Turks and Calcos, 2:33 AM, teams leave to catch the ferry for Tallen, Estonia.
Day 13--Ferry doesn't leave until 5:45 PM, takes 16 hours to get to Tallen. Day 14--solve medieval mystery at the house of the blackheads, detour with mud volleyball or slingshots, Meghan and Chayne win again (I forget their prize). Pinkie and the Brain eliminated.
Day 14--12 midnight, teams leave for Prague, flight at 5:20 a.m. for Riga, then transfer for Prague. Kayak or rope challenge, find miniature violin in the opera house while a tenor sang Don Giovanni, Cheyne and Megan win again--trip to Hawaii.

Project Runway: Finale, Yawn!

I've been busy having a real life so I haven't blogged in a few weeks. Project Runway came to end and like the rest of this first season on Lifetime, the last few episodes were a big yawn. What a disappointment that the first season I blogged about was so lackluster. While visiting my family in Phila., I was chatting about how bad it was and my dad mentioned that he had read the reason Nina Garcia was not a judge for so many of the episodes was that she had to go to Paris and Milan for the fashion shows, so they sent people further down on the masthead at Marie Claire. He was reading this in a magazine while waiting for the steamroom at his gym.

Anyway, I was so glad they aufed pretty boys Logan and Christopher. Though the episode where Logan finally bit the dust, I would not have objected to Gordana taking the pipe. Her outfit was so drab compared to Logan's zipper-crazy thing.

In the two-part finale, it was kinda dull because Tim Gunn only had to go to Long Island and Manhattan to visit Carol Hannah and Irina. The furthest he had to fly was Ohio to see Althea. I wonder if he looks forward to these trips--sitting in the Cleveland airport, probably having to change planes somewhere, then renting the car, and meeting the film crew, having dinner with the folks. I did think Carol Hannah's mother was very pretty and Irina's dad was handsome as a young man in that old photo.

None of the three collections did anything for me. The gown with the long train was the only thing I liked about Althea's. Irina's was too costume-y (Tim's critique) with all the S&M stuff and those goofy hats. I did like the T-shirts, but there weren't enough of them and you couldn't see them too well. At least Carol Hannah's had some color and I don't care if it didn't tell a story--it didn't put me to sleep like the other two.

My friend Lydia joked that she thought that fashion critic-judge from the International Herald Tribune looked like Aunt Harriet on Batman (Madge Blake for you trivia buffs). But I loved her leopard skin outfit. Tres chic, Aunt Harriet. Getting ready for your date with Liberace?

Now that the whole painful thing is over we can look forward to season seven which is right around the corner on Jan. 14. I pray they will drop Models of the Runway, but I have a bad feeling it's Heidi's baby and she wants to keep it. The final episode of the Models was nothing but a clip-fest. I didn't care about the models, if I did I'd watch Tyra Banks. Because of them, there was only one non-model challenge using "real people"--the divorcee one. Having nonprofessionals to design for was what gave the Bravo Project Runway variety. Hopefully, we will be getting some more and a more dynamic group of contestants next time.