Project Runway Season 8: Finale--Miscarriage of Justice

A week later I finally caught up with the Project Runway finale and did my imitation of Edvard Munch's The Scream when the winner was announced. All I can say is Tim Gunn was right about the judges smoking crack. What happened between the stand-off between the Nina Garcia-Michael Kors faction and the Heidi-Jessica Simpson alliance when they said they were deadlocked and then Gretchen being declared the winner? Did Nina say, "Jessica is only a guest judge and Michael and I are more important"? I was really stunned because Mondo definitely deserved to win. The two people who would actually be wearing the clothes--Heidi and Jessica--favored Mondo, but Michael and Nina were saying Gretchen's snoozefest would sell more easily at the local J.C. Penny's.

This does not make any sense and is totally inconsistant with past seasons. Last year, for instance, the judges crowned Seth Aaron's Third Reich parade in front of Der Feurher over Emilio's very wearable and pretty collection. Nina even said in the reunion show when Emilio tearfully asked why he lost that his was a "line" rather than a collection, meaning it was too everyday. Gretchen's was definitely everyday while Mondo's was a wild, fun party--so what if it was too young, Nina. Then there was Katho whose stylish yet flattering looks lost to that shy girl--can't remember her name--with the art-school concept-y wave things. (I did like them but who would wear them except to a costume party?) And let's not forget Christian's all-black, high-couture whacky train wreck with those enormous hats. I can just see wearing one of those to the Pathmark. Obviously, Michael and Nina decided being on-trend and safe was more important this time than taking a risk.

I think the real reason for their choice was those two were pissed off that Mondo did not listen to them about the circus and kept the headpieces and the bubble dress which everybody else including Heidi thought was fabulous. They rewarded Gretchen for listening to them by heightening the styling. They praised the styling but doesn't that say that the clothes themselves need help?

IMHO, Gretchen had one or two nice outfits you could wear while shopping on a summer day in Darien, Conn. or to an afternoon tea party on Cape Cod. Mondo's looks were exciting and different and definitely his own. Gretchen's were bland and that jewelry was meh. As Heidi said, it's a fashion show, not a jewelry show.

And what were those voluminous cargo pants Andy was wearing? He had some cute outfits, but they were too similar--his models looks like high-fashion elves with all that green and those star headthingies.

Project Runway Season 7: Episode 10: Irish Girl Speaks Up, plus Louisville Reflections

Irish girl Carrie spoke up to the judges this past week when Michael Kors compared the dress she was wearing to a dirty table-cloth and Nina Garcia declared it a full-on disaster. "I have to disagree with all a yiz," she firmly said in that delightful brogue. I wanted her to go on with "And yiz can kiss me arse, the lot of yiz. I'm goin' to the pub for a pint of ale and if yiz don't like it, yiz can stuff it." She was the highlight of the episode. But how did Jonathan her designer repay her? He picked Brandeis, the odd girl and Carrie got eliminated.

It's been a strange week. I'm late with this Runway recap/blog/rumination because I was in Louisville during the episode. It was broadcast on the first night of the Humana Festival and I watched the second half at about 1:30 AM after attending the opening night reception and seeing the first play which started at 11PM. I just now watched the first half on DVR back in NYC. I'm getting kinda tired of this season. There hasn't been anything really grabby. I've had enough of Seth Aaron's zippers and Mila's color blocking. There were a few twists--Seth Aaron escaped the curse of the cell phone by speaking with a loved one on camera via personal communication device and not being eliminated. Mila actually tried something not geometric, but the skirt was so tight her model Brandeis could barely walk in it.

I didn't think Emilio's winning print was that great and Jonathan's almost-losing pale jacket and skirt combo wasn't that awful. I guess the judges thought Anthony's was boring and better a "full-on disaster" than a yawn. Jonathan is in big trouble and will probably be the next to go. Emilio and Seth Aaron are probably safe, leaving Jay, Mia or Mila for the third slot. But something big is happening next week and I think it involves Mia because I recall hearing a rumor about her not showing up for fashion week.

The rest of Louisville was fun, but they packed so much into the three days I didn't do very much besides go to the theatre. At one point we had four shows on one day. After the first one I had about two hours to kill, so I took a cab to the historical district and bought a guide to the Victorian houses. One was a sort of double house with two separate entrances. A merchant built it for his two daughters who hated each other. There were separate porches so they could each sit on them without speaking to the other. Ironically, one of the houses is now the Kentucky Psychiatric Institute.

I only got to see a few additional domiciles when I realized I had better get back in time for the next show, so I walked back--about two miles. I passed a lot of hat and wig shops. Hats are big in Louisville because of the Kentucky Derby. All the ladies wear enormous chapeaus to the famous race. I took pictures which I will post later. Later that same day after the second show, I had lunch with the artistic director and some board members of the Actor's Express Theatre of Atlanta. It was fun to talk theatre with like-minded people. They asked me what was good in NYC and I asked about their season in Atlanta. It's so refreshing to see theatre outside of NYC and realize the whole country does have a theatre scene beyond Broadway.

Project Runway Season 7: Episode 5: Bible Study Time

When the episode opened with another funny quip from Anthony ("Wake up. It's bible study time. But I use it as a weapon" and then hitting Jay with the Holy Word which was a riot), I thought he was in trouble. He was getting too much camera time which is always a bad sign. But expectations turned upside down as the comic-relief designer emerged as a winner and the ice-queen former favorite (Milla with the bangs and the Anna Wintour haughty attitude) got slapped down.

It got very tiring to hear Heidi and Tim endlessly bray about how this was the BIGGEST challenge in Project Runway history. Tim's sole advice seemed to be "Just make it perfect!" And what was up with that bitchy Marie Clare editor-in-chief? Was she vying with Nina, her subordinate, for all the attention? Did someone tell her that because she's British she should be like Simon Cowell and say the nastiest things that pop into her scones-and-buttter head? Nausea, polluted seawater, and hospital food were her main images. EWW! You don't gots to be so mean, bitch! And why do they always cut away from the muscular arms of that hot make-up artist so fast? Linger on them biceps, Mr. Cameraman.

Everyone but Ben and Emilio seemed to be afraid of bold colors. And you need those to make an outfit stand out on a magazine cover. Emilio's was very sexy and I loved that whipped out his scissors and snipped those spaghetti straps right off. I wasn't wild about his color, it was too burgundy for me. I would have preferred a brighter red. Ben's bright combinations should have won. They really popped and the textures were interesting. The belt was nice too. Anthony's was nice and flowing, but it didn't have the vibrancy of Ben's. Jonathan's superheroine-hooker look was good for a laugh. Isn't Ben the one who worked in comic books?

It was a close call for elimination between Jeaneane (bridesmaid at the wedding of the Little Mermaid) and Ana (pregnant teeny bopper on the way to the beach in Datoyna). They both didn't have long for this world.

Project Runway Season 7: Episode 2: Burlap Dance

Remember that episode of I Love Lucy where Ricky and Fred give Lucy and Ethel burlap sacks as if they were Paris fashions and the girls wear them, are seen by a designer who steals the idea and creates a line of burlap? They stole the idea for this week's Project Runway. They should have at least given credit to the source. I wonder who comes up with the challenges? Is it Heidi? Does Tim have a say? Or is it all unseen producers?

So the challenge was to make a industry-party-worthy dress out of potato sacks. This time the models got to choose their designers. I think Alexis picked Anthony because she thought she could push him around. Milla who worked with Alexis the previous week, lucked out and came up with a winner.

Once again Ping made a dress-up outfit worthy of a six-year-old. Her teenage model looked like a bag of potato chips with the ass hanging out.

I liked Jonathan and Seth Allen's looks best--particularly Jonathan's understated print--but of course the judges went for far-out Milla's sleek, futuristic look and Jay's feather-explosion. I'll bet the people in the middle will eventually emerge as the strongest with Seth Allen definitely finishing strongly. Jesus and Ping will continue to scrape the bottom of the barrel until all the drab bland people are gone (like Pamela who did make her model's ass look big, but she made a better dress than Jesus or Ping did). Then their cute, funny but amateurish asses will aufed before you can say "Weird or cute, you're time is up." Jesus looked just adorable on the runway with his sweet little bow-tie, but honey, you should pay more attention to the model's outfit than your own.

Second-place Amy should have won. Her piece had a light, soft look and the skirt was innovative.

Guest judge Lauren Hutton scared me with her stretched-tight face. And would it have killed you to dress up a little? She looked like she was about to go shopping at the Darien A&P for steaks for Labor Day weekend.

Project Runway Season 7: Episode 1: Ping-a-Ling

Back to the the runway for Season 7 and at least they wised up and returned to New York. But why did they keep Models of the Runway? Who cares about the models? Now we'll have another season of no challenges with real people, which is what made the previous seasons 1-5 interesting--the interaction between the designers and non-models. Remember Jeffrey making what's-her-name's mother cry? And Christian clashing with the high-school girl during the prom challenge? And the final five in Season 1 making a new look for each other? It added spice. I couldn't care less about these human coat-hangers developing friendships with the contestants.

Well, at least we're back in the Big Apple and Michael and Nina will be on every episode like they belong. This bunch also seems a lot more interesting and talented than Season 6's group. I can't remember one good dress that sorry lot turned out. This bunch at least makes bold choices and uses color. The first episode featured the by-now standard express-yourself challenge where the designers must make something that says who they are. We found out right away who Ping is: the resident nut job. Sometimes the contestant filling the kook slot is aufed right away as in the punk rock girl from season 6. Sometimes she hangs on for a few episodes for humor value--like the hippie chick who liked to spit on her dresses to "bless" them with her essence and made that disaster which pooped fabric on the first challenge. But this time the wack-a-doodle judges actually liked Ping's eccentric design and put her in the top three. Seriously, Nicole Ritchie, you would wear that? Maybe after a few dozen cocktails. I thought Ping's model looked like a little girl who grabbed everything in her mommy's closet and threw it on in a misguided attempt at dress up. And BTW, is she so poor that she can't even afford a dress form and has to put all of her designs on herself? How does she pin anything? Oh yeah, she doesn't, she just drapes.

Okay, maybe I'm being a tad harsh. I later figured out when they edited the runway show, we didn't get to see the full effect with that plaid snood thing. We only saw that on the model's arm and I wondered what the hell it was supposed to be. So we'll see if Ping continues to impress the judges with her way-out style. I think she's going to run out of luck and will not last long.

Anthony is another Runway character made to order--the loud, funny, queeny guy who can't shut up. I loved it when he started gushing about how relieved he was not to be eliminated and Heidi told him to get off the runway before she changed her mind. That snapped his trap shut real quick. And what was that enormous appendage on the side of his dress? A colostomy bag?

Seth Allen is the bad boy in the mold of Jeffrey. I absolutely LOVED what he was wearing on the runway, a lot more than his MTV-Awards-in-Japan outfit with that red zipper and the uneven straps. Janeanne is the overly sensitive girl who cries at the drop of a stitch. I predict big conflicts and an ocean of tears from her.

Hated Jesus's train which would have looked even weirder if he kept the dress short. Should have kept it short and lost the train, would have worked a lot better. Everyone commented on the seam. Jesse's jacket worked very well and was very smart. Christina's piece was poorly constructed and showed every pucker. She did deserve to go home and Emilio demonstrated he has solid skills with his winning multi-layered party dress.

We've also got a new catchphrase--"hanger appeal." And the winner doesn't get a car this time? I guess they couldn't get an automobile sponsor. I haven't watched Models on the Runway yet and will give it a fair trial, but I will probably just not DVR it this time. I have better things to do with those 23 minutes like find old Hanna Barbera cartoons on YouTube.

Project Runway: Finale, Yawn!

I've been busy having a real life so I haven't blogged in a few weeks. Project Runway came to end and like the rest of this first season on Lifetime, the last few episodes were a big yawn. What a disappointment that the first season I blogged about was so lackluster. While visiting my family in Phila., I was chatting about how bad it was and my dad mentioned that he had read the reason Nina Garcia was not a judge for so many of the episodes was that she had to go to Paris and Milan for the fashion shows, so they sent people further down on the masthead at Marie Claire. He was reading this in a magazine while waiting for the steamroom at his gym.

Anyway, I was so glad they aufed pretty boys Logan and Christopher. Though the episode where Logan finally bit the dust, I would not have objected to Gordana taking the pipe. Her outfit was so drab compared to Logan's zipper-crazy thing.

In the two-part finale, it was kinda dull because Tim Gunn only had to go to Long Island and Manhattan to visit Carol Hannah and Irina. The furthest he had to fly was Ohio to see Althea. I wonder if he looks forward to these trips--sitting in the Cleveland airport, probably having to change planes somewhere, then renting the car, and meeting the film crew, having dinner with the folks. I did think Carol Hannah's mother was very pretty and Irina's dad was handsome as a young man in that old photo.

None of the three collections did anything for me. The gown with the long train was the only thing I liked about Althea's. Irina's was too costume-y (Tim's critique) with all the S&M stuff and those goofy hats. I did like the T-shirts, but there weren't enough of them and you couldn't see them too well. At least Carol Hannah's had some color and I don't care if it didn't tell a story--it didn't put me to sleep like the other two.

My friend Lydia joked that she thought that fashion critic-judge from the International Herald Tribune looked like Aunt Harriet on Batman (Madge Blake for you trivia buffs). But I loved her leopard skin outfit. Tres chic, Aunt Harriet. Getting ready for your date with Liberace?

Now that the whole painful thing is over we can look forward to season seven which is right around the corner on Jan. 14. I pray they will drop Models of the Runway, but I have a bad feeling it's Heidi's baby and she wants to keep it. The final episode of the Models was nothing but a clip-fest. I didn't care about the models, if I did I'd watch Tyra Banks. Because of them, there was only one non-model challenge using "real people"--the divorcee one. Having nonprofessionals to design for was what gave the Bravo Project Runway variety. Hopefully, we will be getting some more and a more dynamic group of contestants next time.

Project Runway Episode 8: Divorcee in Saran Wrap

If Christopher was in tears last week, he should have been bawling his head off this week for creating that garbage bag outfit for Beverly, the divorcee with too much plastic surgery. The challenge was to take the wedding dress of a divorced woman and make it into a fun new outfit. So Christopher made her look like a sandwich loosely covered in Saran wrap with a twisty tied too tightly in the middle.

But at least this time we had “real-people” models instead of the same old mannequins we’ve had to look at every week. The Models of the Runway show this week consisted of the models and the divorcees going out for drinks. Then the models went out for drinks alone. Maybe it’s just me but I’d rather go out for drinks myself than watch other people do it—twice!

While the Models show was boring, the Project Runway episode was one of the better ones during this sorry season. It had drama with Gordana getting all emotional about her children (who are probably in their 20s from the picture they showed) and then winning—finally. Everyone congratulating her and saying she really deserved it. Then there was Shirin who had the impossible task of making something out of that skimpy outfit and her divorcee wanting to add peacock feathers and an Indian headdress so she could look like Cher.

Here are my thoughts on the runway show

Irina’s dress was nice, but I didn’t like the shoulders. It looked like a little girl’s party dress or like the dress the title character wore in Alice in Wonderland.

Carol Hannah and Althea’s outfits were pretty. Nicholas’ Holly Hobby look for the tiny divorcee was not as bad as he thought. It was appropriate for her and didn’t make her look silly as Christopher and Logan’s outfits did for their clients. Logan’s look was the worst he’s ever done. The pants made her hips look wide, that bustier top belonged on Miss Kitty on Gunsmoke. The only place she should wear that thing is at home when she’s doing the vacuuming. Epperson’s was not as terrible as either Christopher’s or Logan’s. I think Epperson was eliminated because he’s not as young and cute as either of them and they can’t do shirtless shots of him. Shirin pulled off a miracle with the stitching on her dress. With only a few yards of fabric, she made a fun, funky, young look without going to crazy cuckoo land like her client wanted. I loved that she did not give up when faced with a difficult task like Johnny did a few weeks away.

Gordana’s dress was edgy and hip yet detailed and really well-made. It made the divorcee look great. She finally got some love from the judges and is definitely a contender now. I think Christopher is fizzling out. He’s really fallen down over the last two challenges after a promising start. I think he and Logan will be gone before the final three so we’ll have eye candy for as long as possible before the serious contestants battle it out for the big prize.

I was so relieved Nina Garcia will be judging next week. I’m sick of these other editors from Marie Claire. And who is this woman from Jimmy Choo? Her face was stretched as thinly on her face as the plastic wrap was loose on Beverly’s torso. Maybe they have the same plastic surgeon—Dr. Stretcho? Reed Richards from the Fantastic Four?

Project Runway Episode 7: Tears on the Runway

Poor Christopher. He obviously thought he was going to win and then the judges smacked him upside the head with a "disco pumpkin" metaphor. He was crying like a baby. The look of shock on his face when he was told he was in the bottom was priceless. All that build-up from Tim, too and Christopher was getting along so well with Epperson, I thought I was going to be sick. Well, Michael Kors' critique brought him back down to earth. Maybe next time he won't be so confident. I was surprised they were so harsh. I liked the idea of a shirt dress and thought it was an OK outfit. The disco pumpkin thing was a terrible color and looked like it had been designed for a production number in a revival of Sweet Charity to show how bizarre clothes were in the 1960s. The judges were right, the two dresses had nothing to do with each other.

Speaking of judges, at least we got Michael back, but where is Nina? Are they going to fly the entire editorial board of Marie Claire to Los Angeles before she can return? My friend Lydia told me that last week's Marie Claire judge is like a fourth-assistant editor or something. I do want to see The September Issue and see Anna Wintour in action. It will make my job look easy by comparison.

Louise did deserve to go home. Tacky, tacky, tacky. The ruffles looked like they had been stapled on by a nine-year-old and that frilly thing on the other dress was not integrated with the rest of the look, just tacked on. The shower-curtain metaphor was accurate.

Gordana finally got some credit for doing nice work. I was worried that she was going to get slammed because she and Irina were not getting along well together. Irina's winning design was pretty, I didn't think it was spectacular.

I hope the tease for next week is accurate when Heidi said the designers would be getting new models. I'm sick of these girls now that Fatma is gone. If I wanted to watch catfights with models, I'd tune in Tyra Banks (and that's the last time you'll read her name in this blog, honey!) Watched only a couple of minutes of the Models of the Runway. Who cares about walking coaches? "You don't want to challenge this!"

Strange thought: Why an extended preview of a strictly guy movie ("2012") during a girly show like Runway?

Project Runway Episode 6: Mandatory Model Jumping

Just as I was starting to get bored out of my mind about those dumb models sticking with their designers, they switch it up and force the designers to change models. That was the only drama in a long time on the Models of the Runway series. As I noted in my previous Runway post, because of this ridiculous models show, we are stuck with the same girls every week instead of occasionally having to design for ordinary people or males or each other or something unusual. I'm sorry Fatma had to go, she was my favorite.

I am also sick of Logan and all the girls mooning over him. He's OK, but not hot and not worthy of all the shirtless shots. While watching the endless idolization of this blond skinny guy from Seattle, I realized the reason--the Lifetime audience, or at least the one they want to primarily attract, is primarily straight female and not a mix of straight women and gay men like Bravo. Speaking as a gay man, Logan is not your typical eye candy for me. I prefer Christopher. On previous seasons of Runway on Bravo, the hot guys would always be gay--like that hunky one who had to go home because of health reasons two seasons ago.

But I digress from the fashions this week--Nicholas's ice queen gown did deserve to win, very detailed and chic. The makeup helped a lot. Ra'mon's lizard thing looked like a rug in a cheap hotel where you have sex for an hour while you're on your break from the diner across the road (how's that for a movie story, kids?) Louise's outfit was a mess than wasn't even hot. I felt really sorry for Gordana, the judges are always so mean to her--"I can tell you're a great dressmaker, but I don't see your vision." Come on, it was a pretty flapper outfit, very detailed and obviously well made. I think it had a pont of view and was historically intriguing. She didn't deserve to be in the bottom three. Her paper dress was nice last week as well, but they put her on the bottom then. She's going to be eliminated pretty soon and that will be her send-off "It was well made, but nothing special."

Speaking of the judges where the hell are Michael Kors and Nina Garcia? Is there are a power struggle at Marie Clare between Nina and this smug young editor who judged this week? I don't like her, I don't know why I just don't. Nina and Michael are two of the reasons people watch the show, they should be brought back. Also I'm not excited by these designers--their personalities or their work. Wouldn't you know I start blogging during the most dull Project Runway season yet. It's the same every weekHopefully things will perk up soon. And there's always Amazing Race, starting Sunday.

Did I tell you I saw Diane von Furstenberg at the theatre one night?

Project Runway Episodes 4 and 5

I just realized that they will be using the models on every episode of Project Runway this season. They'll have to in order to make the Models of the Runway show make sense. So that means there won't be any challenges as in previous seasons like the one where they used each other's mothers or sisters (and Jeffrey made some mother cry) or wrestling divas or high school girls going to their prom. Well, maybe they will, but how will they make it work if they have to have this big elimination ceremony of the models every week. I don't see it happening.

Anyway last week has been so busy I didn't have a chance to critique the last episode. Not very exciting, I liked the winning dress, but preferred Louise's number, particularly the high collar. Fatma really brought it off. She is being portrayed as the bitch on the Model show, but I really don't care. She is the best walker and the best looking model. I couldn't believe this week's model show with some crying because their friend was not chosen. Who cares? And what happened to Nina Garcia and Michael Kors the last few weeks? I prefer them to that mummified corpse of a designer they had as a judge last week.

This week the contestants had to make a garment out of newspaper. Johnny utterly failed and then lied to everyone about his first attempt being ruined by a steam iron. Then he cried about how hard it is to be a recovering addict. Then an absolute first, Tim actually badmouthed a contestant after he sent him up to the workroom to clean out his space. I have never seen Tim do that before. Nicholas was a little bitchy and he didn't need to rat Johnny out on the runway, but it did make for drama. BTW, I bought the new comic book Models Inc. which included a feature with Tim Gunn putting on Iron Man's costume and defeating some bad guys who attempt to rob a fashion museum. Definitely cool having a gay icon become a superhero. The art was a lot of fun. I also bought the first two of the series of Archie comics with him marrying Veronica. I get the feeling the whole thing will be a dream, because it begins with Archie walking "up" memory lane and in the second issue Veronica announces she's pregnant. Maybe they go through their whole lives and Archie wakes up as he's about to graduate high school.

Amazing Race 15 starts a week from Sunday. I checked out the new teams on the CBS website. They don't look particularly exciting, but there is a pair of gay brothers and an interracial married couple.