Project Runway Episode 9: Pretty Boys Must Go!

Logan and Christopher are toast! For the second week in a row, the two pretty boys of Project Runway--one straight and one gay--were in the bottom three and the only reason theis asses were saved was because of their looks (just like in prison!) This is like season one when they brought back the hot sexy straight designer after he had been eliminated to "help" the remaining contestants. When the real reason was to provide eye candy for us gays and the ladies.

Logan's mink wrap on top of a peppermint stick was only marginally better than Christopher's black bubble bottom with the slut girl top. Shirin's gown did have a nice top as Nina pointed out but the bottom was so poorly put together with those streamers of fabric flowing awkwardly. In the close-up it looked really ragged. I liked that Nina said Shirin had talent. I miss her being a judge more often. How can she get a sense of a designer's talent unless she is there week after week. We are missing a sense of a continuing relationship this season between the judges and the designers because they keep changing the judges.

Gordana just gave up and made this ugly thing which somehow was matronly and a prom outfit at the same time. Thank God she had immunity.


Christopher and Logan will be gone very soon, they are running out of sacrifical lambs (poor Shirin--I think she's cute with that adorable little beret she sometimes sports). That will leave Nicholas as the only boy.


Carol Hannah deserved her win with the elegant combination of black feathers and glittler. It's obvious they are casting Irina as the bitchy one with her snide comments on everyone else's work. I loved that Carol Hannah won after Irina said nasty things about her. She was equally mean about Shirin. There are three challenges left before the final three are chosen. I predict it will be Nicholas, Irina, and Carol Hannah.

My Top Ten Favorite TV Shows

We all gotta get silly sometimes. So here's my top ten favorite TV shows of all time. Please add your own in the comments spot. (I never get any comments, boo-hoo! Is anybody there, as William Daniels sang in 1776.)

In no particular order:

1. Rocky and Bullwinkle. Funny and satirical and way over my head as a kid. Boris and Natasha, the Giant Metal Moon Mice (while disguised as a moon mouse, Boris was reading a book called Mice Kampf), Cloyd and Gidney, Fearless Leader (when I was little I thought he was named Phyllis Leader), fractured Fairy Tales (Snow White: We used to have a line of giants, but we had to cut them out, too much overhead), Peabody and Sherman (Oh, no, Sherman, in this Indian dialect "ta-ta" means "Let's Have a War"), Wrongway Peachfuzz, and of course the flying squirrel and moose. I actually met June Foray at a sci-fi convention once and got her autograph.

2. Hill Street Blues. Real-life drama. I interviewed Bruce Weitz (Mick Belker) and saw Joe Spano (Lt. Henry Goldblume) on the subway. Robert Prosky (Sgt. Jablonsky) grew up across the street from my grandparents in Philly.

3. Dr. Who. Greatest sci-fi series ever, still going on. I've met six of the ten doctors and several of the companions at various sci-fi conventions.

4. The Amazing Race. Of course, read blog entries on the current season for more details.

5. The Dick Van Dyke Show. (Funniest moment: Millie and Jerry discovering Laura with the inflatible raft.)

6. The Mary Tyler Moore Show (Rhoda: I don't know why I'm eating this chocolate, I should apply it directly to my hips)

7. Theater in America. PBS series in the late 1970s spotlighting a different regional theatre production every week. Arena Stage, American Conservatory Theatre, Negro Ensemble Company, Shakespeare in the Park, etc. How I wish there were something like that on TV now, but even with all the dozens of cable channels, nobody cares enough about theatre to present one.

8. Upstairs, Downstairs. (Ruby, it's 6 o'clock, what should you be doin'? Not speculatin', Mr. 'udson. I'll speculate you, my girl!)

9. Mystery Science Theatre 3000. Too much magnificence to go into. This deserves an entire column.

10. Batman with Adam West and Burt Ward. Of course, my favorite show from ages seven to ten. We didn't think it was funny at the time. But now it's wonderfully campy.

The Amazing Race Episode 3: Tragedy at the Monkey Palace

This week's tasks were ridiculously easy and all the drama was supplied by a tragic mishap costing one team to drop from first place all the way to elimination. Zev and Justin, my favorite team, lost Zev's passport and couldn't not find it in time to stay in the race. This is a new rule or one that has never been enforced before, I guess. The only other team to lose their passports were Toni and Dallas, the mother and hot son of two seasons back. They came in last anyway and couldn't even cheer with the other eliminated teams at the finish line because they were stuck in Russia.

After managing to get on the plane from Ho Chi Minh City to Phnom Penh in Cambodia and avoiding a two-hour gap (unfortunately self-proclaimed lion Lance and Kerry also got on the plane) until the next flight, Zev and Justin soared to the top of the pack, easily finding the hotel with the Jackie Kennedy suite, locating a woman with a matching scarf in the Russian Market and then acting like a monkey for a few minutes. Then they discovered the passport was missing and had to find it before the last team checked in. But it was nowhere to be found.

I checked on the Elimination Station video on the CBS website. The guys went to American embassy and someone had turned in Zev's passport. They had dropped it in the dark when they went into the wrong temple (not shown on the episode).

Oh well, I will miss them and really wanted to see them whip Lance and Kerry's annoying collective ass. It will just be up to the gay brothers Sam and Dan to do so. BTW, since those two came in second, that means they won the leg but we never found out what prize they won.

Other main thought on this episode: Amazing how many of the contestants had no idea that was Jackie Kennedy Onnassis in the photograph.

Day 5--Leave Ho Chi Minh City at 6:53, arrive airport, discover first flight to Phnom Penh is not till 12:20PM the next day. Overnight at the airport.

Day 6--Zev/Justin and Lance/Kerry make it onto first flight. Fly to Phnom Penh, search for hotel, scarf or motorcycle helmet challenge, monkey palace, Zev and Justin finish first, but lose passport. Annoying poker chicks saved by their mistake. Zev and Justin eliminated. Sam and Dan win by default, but we never find out what their prize is.

Obama: Nobel and Gays

With regard to our president winning the Nobel Peace Prize, conservatives are acting like Kayne West at the Video Music Awards. Michael Steele, the RNC chairman is like the rapper who rudely grabbed the trophy out of Taylor Swift's hands and whined it should have gone to Benoyce. Every talking head in the media and the prez as well said West acted like a jerk and now the right-wing is doing the same thing and no one is calling them on it (except for my crew at MSNBC prime time.) Last week Obama lost his bid to bring the Olympics to Chicago and these morons were cheering that America lost. Now America wins a distinguished award from the international community and they sneer and jeer. I could not believe some of the reaction. I saw on Morning Joe (MSNBC not prime time) they were actually saying "There is no up side." (And I actually was liking Joe before this because he admired Obama for going to Copenhagen to campaign for the Olympics.)

No up side! How about the world respects our president and looks to him to bring peace unlike his lame-ass predecessor who ruined our economy and got us into an unnecessary war (I will give him a pass on Afghanistan, but Iraq was just revenge for Daddy Bush). I understand the criticism that it may appear that the award has been presented for Obama's promise of leadership and setting a tone of cooperation among nations rather than substantive results. You can certainly say that without calling the award an embarassment. I think these people (Rush, Glenn, etc.) just can't stand that the world loves--I mean loves--Obama. They thought they had him in a box when he lost the Olympics, but now he's won a victory and they can not stand it. And it's not like he campaigned for it by taking out an ad in The Hollywood Reporter: "For Your Consideration for the Nobel Peace Prize."

Let me tell you a little story. When I was in Turkey last year, I took the wrong bus and got lost. Nobody spoke English, but the bus driver told his assistant to got off with me and wait for the right bus which was going in the opposite direction. While we waited, we communicated through a few words and signs. "Where you from?" he asked. I answered "America, New York." "Oh, Obama," he smiled and gave me the thumbs up sign. This little anecdote may not mean much, but to me it indicates that countries that mistrusted before as a big bully superpower, now see us as a friend. Maybe awarding the President the Nobel Peace Prize is trifle premature, but there is definitely an up side: the world trusts us again.

The next night, Obama addressed the Human Right Campaign. Many of my fellow gays are pissed he's only given us lip service and very little action. While I am impatient too, I don't know all the stuff going on behind the scenes with the military in order to get "Don't Ask Don't Tell" repealed and I know it's going to be a long uphill battle before the Defense of Marriage Act joins the Dred Scott decision on the ash-heap of history. At least this president has publicly said "There is nothing wrong with being gay, I believe gay people should be treated equally and same-sex couples and families are just as good as straight ones. Get over yourselves, homophobes! Your attitudes are a part of the past and we are moving into the future" or words to that effect. That's more than any other prez has done, and I'm grateful for that much.

Project Runway Episode 8: Divorcee in Saran Wrap

If Christopher was in tears last week, he should have been bawling his head off this week for creating that garbage bag outfit for Beverly, the divorcee with too much plastic surgery. The challenge was to take the wedding dress of a divorced woman and make it into a fun new outfit. So Christopher made her look like a sandwich loosely covered in Saran wrap with a twisty tied too tightly in the middle.

But at least this time we had “real-people” models instead of the same old mannequins we’ve had to look at every week. The Models of the Runway show this week consisted of the models and the divorcees going out for drinks. Then the models went out for drinks alone. Maybe it’s just me but I’d rather go out for drinks myself than watch other people do it—twice!

While the Models show was boring, the Project Runway episode was one of the better ones during this sorry season. It had drama with Gordana getting all emotional about her children (who are probably in their 20s from the picture they showed) and then winning—finally. Everyone congratulating her and saying she really deserved it. Then there was Shirin who had the impossible task of making something out of that skimpy outfit and her divorcee wanting to add peacock feathers and an Indian headdress so she could look like Cher.

Here are my thoughts on the runway show

Irina’s dress was nice, but I didn’t like the shoulders. It looked like a little girl’s party dress or like the dress the title character wore in Alice in Wonderland.

Carol Hannah and Althea’s outfits were pretty. Nicholas’ Holly Hobby look for the tiny divorcee was not as bad as he thought. It was appropriate for her and didn’t make her look silly as Christopher and Logan’s outfits did for their clients. Logan’s look was the worst he’s ever done. The pants made her hips look wide, that bustier top belonged on Miss Kitty on Gunsmoke. The only place she should wear that thing is at home when she’s doing the vacuuming. Epperson’s was not as terrible as either Christopher’s or Logan’s. I think Epperson was eliminated because he’s not as young and cute as either of them and they can’t do shirtless shots of him. Shirin pulled off a miracle with the stitching on her dress. With only a few yards of fabric, she made a fun, funky, young look without going to crazy cuckoo land like her client wanted. I loved that she did not give up when faced with a difficult task like Johnny did a few weeks away.

Gordana’s dress was edgy and hip yet detailed and really well-made. It made the divorcee look great. She finally got some love from the judges and is definitely a contender now. I think Christopher is fizzling out. He’s really fallen down over the last two challenges after a promising start. I think he and Logan will be gone before the final three so we’ll have eye candy for as long as possible before the serious contestants battle it out for the big prize.

I was so relieved Nina Garcia will be judging next week. I’m sick of these other editors from Marie Claire. And who is this woman from Jimmy Choo? Her face was stretched as thinly on her face as the plastic wrap was loose on Beverly’s torso. Maybe they have the same plastic surgeon—Dr. Stretcho? Reed Richards from the Fantastic Four?

The Amazing Race Episode 2--Lion or Chicken with Its Head Cut Off

Since the new season of Amazing Race is underway and before we get to the analysis of the second episode, this would be a good place to tell you my true-life Amazing Race story: A few years ago, I took my friend Lydia to see 110 in the Shade with Audra McDonald presented by the Roundabout Theater Company at Studio 54. It was Cinqo de Mayo and a few days before my birthday, so after the show we decided to have some margaritas at Iguana, a Mexican bar-restaurant on the same block as the theatre.

As we were drinking, of course we starting talking about TAR which was going to conclude that Sunday night, it was the All-Star edition. Suddenly across the room I saw a guy who I thought was Ian from Season 3. (The ex-Marine with the wife named Teri who kept yelling at her.) I said to Lydia, "OMG, that's Ian." She said I was drunk and so obsessed with the Race I was seeing things. But then I saw more contestants from past shows including Dave and Mary, the Kentucky coal miner and his wife, and Tom and Terri, the gay couple from the same season, and many others. It turned out they were all there for the All-Stars finale and CBS had flown them in.

We said hi to all of them and they were very nice. The waiters kept coming up to us and saying "Who are these people? Are they famous?" We spoke at length with the guy who wound up winning (I forget his name). If only I'd had a camera. Oh well. Back to the present.

This week's episode was all about humiliating Lance (pictured with his partner Kerry), the beefy and annoying Boston lawyer. At the top of the show he was bragging about how he was a lion and all the other teams are zebras and gazelles who may be faster, but as a lion he would defeat them all because he's so majestic and hunky or something. He then proceeded to demonstrate he's more a chicken with its head cut off than a lion. As the teams were let off in Mito, Vietnam, they had to figure out they needed to get to Ho Chi Minh City which was a two-hour cab ride away. Lance and Kerri didn't even know where they were and thought they were in Ho Chi Minh already. After some yelling and screaming, they got wise and found the clue at the dragon puppet theatre. Then they couldn't figure out the clue was inside the capsule they pulled from the dragon's mouth. They stumbled and panicked all the way to next-to-last place, letting Zev and Justin beat them. I loved when Phil asked if Lance was the most competitive person and the race. He answered he'd wrestle Phil right there. Phil laughed and said no, he could see how strong Lance was. Then Zev spoke up and said "We'll take him on, Phil." I love Zev! Don't let that bully get in your way. You beat him to the mat!

Sooner or later Lance is going to go down. And it is going to be so sweet to watch that giant ego get deflated. Just like Rob and Amber whose 15 minutes of fame ran out a long time age.

I also enjoyed Ron and Marcy who were good sports when they got eliminated. They just made the wrong choice and picked the word challenge which evidently took much longer.

Summary: Day 5: Cei Bai to Mito by boat. Everybody gets first clue at about 5:50 AM. Mito to Ho Chi Minh City by two-hour cab ride. Dragon puppet theatre, Word Play or Child's Play detour, Chop Shop road block. Globetrotters come in first, win trip to Aruba. Ron and Marcy eliminated.

Project Runway Episode 7: Tears on the Runway

Poor Christopher. He obviously thought he was going to win and then the judges smacked him upside the head with a "disco pumpkin" metaphor. He was crying like a baby. The look of shock on his face when he was told he was in the bottom was priceless. All that build-up from Tim, too and Christopher was getting along so well with Epperson, I thought I was going to be sick. Well, Michael Kors' critique brought him back down to earth. Maybe next time he won't be so confident. I was surprised they were so harsh. I liked the idea of a shirt dress and thought it was an OK outfit. The disco pumpkin thing was a terrible color and looked like it had been designed for a production number in a revival of Sweet Charity to show how bizarre clothes were in the 1960s. The judges were right, the two dresses had nothing to do with each other.

Speaking of judges, at least we got Michael back, but where is Nina? Are they going to fly the entire editorial board of Marie Claire to Los Angeles before she can return? My friend Lydia told me that last week's Marie Claire judge is like a fourth-assistant editor or something. I do want to see The September Issue and see Anna Wintour in action. It will make my job look easy by comparison.

Louise did deserve to go home. Tacky, tacky, tacky. The ruffles looked like they had been stapled on by a nine-year-old and that frilly thing on the other dress was not integrated with the rest of the look, just tacked on. The shower-curtain metaphor was accurate.

Gordana finally got some credit for doing nice work. I was worried that she was going to get slammed because she and Irina were not getting along well together. Irina's winning design was pretty, I didn't think it was spectacular.

I hope the tease for next week is accurate when Heidi said the designers would be getting new models. I'm sick of these girls now that Fatma is gone. If I wanted to watch catfights with models, I'd tune in Tyra Banks (and that's the last time you'll read her name in this blog, honey!) Watched only a couple of minutes of the Models of the Runway. Who cares about walking coaches? "You don't want to challenge this!"

Strange thought: Why an extended preview of a strictly guy movie ("2012") during a girly show like Runway?