Project Runway Season 8: Finale--Miscarriage of Justice

A week later I finally caught up with the Project Runway finale and did my imitation of Edvard Munch's The Scream when the winner was announced. All I can say is Tim Gunn was right about the judges smoking crack. What happened between the stand-off between the Nina Garcia-Michael Kors faction and the Heidi-Jessica Simpson alliance when they said they were deadlocked and then Gretchen being declared the winner? Did Nina say, "Jessica is only a guest judge and Michael and I are more important"? I was really stunned because Mondo definitely deserved to win. The two people who would actually be wearing the clothes--Heidi and Jessica--favored Mondo, but Michael and Nina were saying Gretchen's snoozefest would sell more easily at the local J.C. Penny's.

This does not make any sense and is totally inconsistant with past seasons. Last year, for instance, the judges crowned Seth Aaron's Third Reich parade in front of Der Feurher over Emilio's very wearable and pretty collection. Nina even said in the reunion show when Emilio tearfully asked why he lost that his was a "line" rather than a collection, meaning it was too everyday. Gretchen's was definitely everyday while Mondo's was a wild, fun party--so what if it was too young, Nina. Then there was Katho whose stylish yet flattering looks lost to that shy girl--can't remember her name--with the art-school concept-y wave things. (I did like them but who would wear them except to a costume party?) And let's not forget Christian's all-black, high-couture whacky train wreck with those enormous hats. I can just see wearing one of those to the Pathmark. Obviously, Michael and Nina decided being on-trend and safe was more important this time than taking a risk.

I think the real reason for their choice was those two were pissed off that Mondo did not listen to them about the circus and kept the headpieces and the bubble dress which everybody else including Heidi thought was fabulous. They rewarded Gretchen for listening to them by heightening the styling. They praised the styling but doesn't that say that the clothes themselves need help?

IMHO, Gretchen had one or two nice outfits you could wear while shopping on a summer day in Darien, Conn. or to an afternoon tea party on Cape Cod. Mondo's looks were exciting and different and definitely his own. Gretchen's were bland and that jewelry was meh. As Heidi said, it's a fashion show, not a jewelry show.

And what were those voluminous cargo pants Andy was wearing? He had some cute outfits, but they were too similar--his models looks like high-fashion elves with all that green and those star headthingies.

Project Runway Season 7: Episode 10: Irish Girl Speaks Up, plus Louisville Reflections

Irish girl Carrie spoke up to the judges this past week when Michael Kors compared the dress she was wearing to a dirty table-cloth and Nina Garcia declared it a full-on disaster. "I have to disagree with all a yiz," she firmly said in that delightful brogue. I wanted her to go on with "And yiz can kiss me arse, the lot of yiz. I'm goin' to the pub for a pint of ale and if yiz don't like it, yiz can stuff it." She was the highlight of the episode. But how did Jonathan her designer repay her? He picked Brandeis, the odd girl and Carrie got eliminated.

It's been a strange week. I'm late with this Runway recap/blog/rumination because I was in Louisville during the episode. It was broadcast on the first night of the Humana Festival and I watched the second half at about 1:30 AM after attending the opening night reception and seeing the first play which started at 11PM. I just now watched the first half on DVR back in NYC. I'm getting kinda tired of this season. There hasn't been anything really grabby. I've had enough of Seth Aaron's zippers and Mila's color blocking. There were a few twists--Seth Aaron escaped the curse of the cell phone by speaking with a loved one on camera via personal communication device and not being eliminated. Mila actually tried something not geometric, but the skirt was so tight her model Brandeis could barely walk in it.

I didn't think Emilio's winning print was that great and Jonathan's almost-losing pale jacket and skirt combo wasn't that awful. I guess the judges thought Anthony's was boring and better a "full-on disaster" than a yawn. Jonathan is in big trouble and will probably be the next to go. Emilio and Seth Aaron are probably safe, leaving Jay, Mia or Mila for the third slot. But something big is happening next week and I think it involves Mia because I recall hearing a rumor about her not showing up for fashion week.

The rest of Louisville was fun, but they packed so much into the three days I didn't do very much besides go to the theatre. At one point we had four shows on one day. After the first one I had about two hours to kill, so I took a cab to the historical district and bought a guide to the Victorian houses. One was a sort of double house with two separate entrances. A merchant built it for his two daughters who hated each other. There were separate porches so they could each sit on them without speaking to the other. Ironically, one of the houses is now the Kentucky Psychiatric Institute.

I only got to see a few additional domiciles when I realized I had better get back in time for the next show, so I walked back--about two miles. I passed a lot of hat and wig shops. Hats are big in Louisville because of the Kentucky Derby. All the ladies wear enormous chapeaus to the famous race. I took pictures which I will post later. Later that same day after the second show, I had lunch with the artistic director and some board members of the Actor's Express Theatre of Atlanta. It was fun to talk theatre with like-minded people. They asked me what was good in NYC and I asked about their season in Atlanta. It's so refreshing to see theatre outside of NYC and realize the whole country does have a theatre scene beyond Broadway.

Project Runway Season 7: Episode 2: Burlap Dance

Remember that episode of I Love Lucy where Ricky and Fred give Lucy and Ethel burlap sacks as if they were Paris fashions and the girls wear them, are seen by a designer who steals the idea and creates a line of burlap? They stole the idea for this week's Project Runway. They should have at least given credit to the source. I wonder who comes up with the challenges? Is it Heidi? Does Tim have a say? Or is it all unseen producers?

So the challenge was to make a industry-party-worthy dress out of potato sacks. This time the models got to choose their designers. I think Alexis picked Anthony because she thought she could push him around. Milla who worked with Alexis the previous week, lucked out and came up with a winner.

Once again Ping made a dress-up outfit worthy of a six-year-old. Her teenage model looked like a bag of potato chips with the ass hanging out.

I liked Jonathan and Seth Allen's looks best--particularly Jonathan's understated print--but of course the judges went for far-out Milla's sleek, futuristic look and Jay's feather-explosion. I'll bet the people in the middle will eventually emerge as the strongest with Seth Allen definitely finishing strongly. Jesus and Ping will continue to scrape the bottom of the barrel until all the drab bland people are gone (like Pamela who did make her model's ass look big, but she made a better dress than Jesus or Ping did). Then their cute, funny but amateurish asses will aufed before you can say "Weird or cute, you're time is up." Jesus looked just adorable on the runway with his sweet little bow-tie, but honey, you should pay more attention to the model's outfit than your own.

Second-place Amy should have won. Her piece had a light, soft look and the skirt was innovative.

Guest judge Lauren Hutton scared me with her stretched-tight face. And would it have killed you to dress up a little? She looked like she was about to go shopping at the Darien A&P for steaks for Labor Day weekend.

Project Runway Season 7: Episode 1: Ping-a-Ling

Back to the the runway for Season 7 and at least they wised up and returned to New York. But why did they keep Models of the Runway? Who cares about the models? Now we'll have another season of no challenges with real people, which is what made the previous seasons 1-5 interesting--the interaction between the designers and non-models. Remember Jeffrey making what's-her-name's mother cry? And Christian clashing with the high-school girl during the prom challenge? And the final five in Season 1 making a new look for each other? It added spice. I couldn't care less about these human coat-hangers developing friendships with the contestants.

Well, at least we're back in the Big Apple and Michael and Nina will be on every episode like they belong. This bunch also seems a lot more interesting and talented than Season 6's group. I can't remember one good dress that sorry lot turned out. This bunch at least makes bold choices and uses color. The first episode featured the by-now standard express-yourself challenge where the designers must make something that says who they are. We found out right away who Ping is: the resident nut job. Sometimes the contestant filling the kook slot is aufed right away as in the punk rock girl from season 6. Sometimes she hangs on for a few episodes for humor value--like the hippie chick who liked to spit on her dresses to "bless" them with her essence and made that disaster which pooped fabric on the first challenge. But this time the wack-a-doodle judges actually liked Ping's eccentric design and put her in the top three. Seriously, Nicole Ritchie, you would wear that? Maybe after a few dozen cocktails. I thought Ping's model looked like a little girl who grabbed everything in her mommy's closet and threw it on in a misguided attempt at dress up. And BTW, is she so poor that she can't even afford a dress form and has to put all of her designs on herself? How does she pin anything? Oh yeah, she doesn't, she just drapes.

Okay, maybe I'm being a tad harsh. I later figured out when they edited the runway show, we didn't get to see the full effect with that plaid snood thing. We only saw that on the model's arm and I wondered what the hell it was supposed to be. So we'll see if Ping continues to impress the judges with her way-out style. I think she's going to run out of luck and will not last long.

Anthony is another Runway character made to order--the loud, funny, queeny guy who can't shut up. I loved it when he started gushing about how relieved he was not to be eliminated and Heidi told him to get off the runway before she changed her mind. That snapped his trap shut real quick. And what was that enormous appendage on the side of his dress? A colostomy bag?

Seth Allen is the bad boy in the mold of Jeffrey. I absolutely LOVED what he was wearing on the runway, a lot more than his MTV-Awards-in-Japan outfit with that red zipper and the uneven straps. Janeanne is the overly sensitive girl who cries at the drop of a stitch. I predict big conflicts and an ocean of tears from her.

Hated Jesus's train which would have looked even weirder if he kept the dress short. Should have kept it short and lost the train, would have worked a lot better. Everyone commented on the seam. Jesse's jacket worked very well and was very smart. Christina's piece was poorly constructed and showed every pucker. She did deserve to go home and Emilio demonstrated he has solid skills with his winning multi-layered party dress.

We've also got a new catchphrase--"hanger appeal." And the winner doesn't get a car this time? I guess they couldn't get an automobile sponsor. I haven't watched Models on the Runway yet and will give it a fair trial, but I will probably just not DVR it this time. I have better things to do with those 23 minutes like find old Hanna Barbera cartoons on YouTube.

Project Runway Episode 7: Tears on the Runway

Poor Christopher. He obviously thought he was going to win and then the judges smacked him upside the head with a "disco pumpkin" metaphor. He was crying like a baby. The look of shock on his face when he was told he was in the bottom was priceless. All that build-up from Tim, too and Christopher was getting along so well with Epperson, I thought I was going to be sick. Well, Michael Kors' critique brought him back down to earth. Maybe next time he won't be so confident. I was surprised they were so harsh. I liked the idea of a shirt dress and thought it was an OK outfit. The disco pumpkin thing was a terrible color and looked like it had been designed for a production number in a revival of Sweet Charity to show how bizarre clothes were in the 1960s. The judges were right, the two dresses had nothing to do with each other.

Speaking of judges, at least we got Michael back, but where is Nina? Are they going to fly the entire editorial board of Marie Claire to Los Angeles before she can return? My friend Lydia told me that last week's Marie Claire judge is like a fourth-assistant editor or something. I do want to see The September Issue and see Anna Wintour in action. It will make my job look easy by comparison.

Louise did deserve to go home. Tacky, tacky, tacky. The ruffles looked like they had been stapled on by a nine-year-old and that frilly thing on the other dress was not integrated with the rest of the look, just tacked on. The shower-curtain metaphor was accurate.

Gordana finally got some credit for doing nice work. I was worried that she was going to get slammed because she and Irina were not getting along well together. Irina's winning design was pretty, I didn't think it was spectacular.

I hope the tease for next week is accurate when Heidi said the designers would be getting new models. I'm sick of these girls now that Fatma is gone. If I wanted to watch catfights with models, I'd tune in Tyra Banks (and that's the last time you'll read her name in this blog, honey!) Watched only a couple of minutes of the Models of the Runway. Who cares about walking coaches? "You don't want to challenge this!"

Strange thought: Why an extended preview of a strictly guy movie ("2012") during a girly show like Runway?

Project Runway Episode 6: Mandatory Model Jumping

Just as I was starting to get bored out of my mind about those dumb models sticking with their designers, they switch it up and force the designers to change models. That was the only drama in a long time on the Models of the Runway series. As I noted in my previous Runway post, because of this ridiculous models show, we are stuck with the same girls every week instead of occasionally having to design for ordinary people or males or each other or something unusual. I'm sorry Fatma had to go, she was my favorite.

I am also sick of Logan and all the girls mooning over him. He's OK, but not hot and not worthy of all the shirtless shots. While watching the endless idolization of this blond skinny guy from Seattle, I realized the reason--the Lifetime audience, or at least the one they want to primarily attract, is primarily straight female and not a mix of straight women and gay men like Bravo. Speaking as a gay man, Logan is not your typical eye candy for me. I prefer Christopher. On previous seasons of Runway on Bravo, the hot guys would always be gay--like that hunky one who had to go home because of health reasons two seasons ago.

But I digress from the fashions this week--Nicholas's ice queen gown did deserve to win, very detailed and chic. The makeup helped a lot. Ra'mon's lizard thing looked like a rug in a cheap hotel where you have sex for an hour while you're on your break from the diner across the road (how's that for a movie story, kids?) Louise's outfit was a mess than wasn't even hot. I felt really sorry for Gordana, the judges are always so mean to her--"I can tell you're a great dressmaker, but I don't see your vision." Come on, it was a pretty flapper outfit, very detailed and obviously well made. I think it had a pont of view and was historically intriguing. She didn't deserve to be in the bottom three. Her paper dress was nice last week as well, but they put her on the bottom then. She's going to be eliminated pretty soon and that will be her send-off "It was well made, but nothing special."

Speaking of the judges where the hell are Michael Kors and Nina Garcia? Is there are a power struggle at Marie Clare between Nina and this smug young editor who judged this week? I don't like her, I don't know why I just don't. Nina and Michael are two of the reasons people watch the show, they should be brought back. Also I'm not excited by these designers--their personalities or their work. Wouldn't you know I start blogging during the most dull Project Runway season yet. It's the same every weekHopefully things will perk up soon. And there's always Amazing Race, starting Sunday.

Did I tell you I saw Diane von Furstenberg at the theatre one night?

Project Runway Episodes 4 and 5

I just realized that they will be using the models on every episode of Project Runway this season. They'll have to in order to make the Models of the Runway show make sense. So that means there won't be any challenges as in previous seasons like the one where they used each other's mothers or sisters (and Jeffrey made some mother cry) or wrestling divas or high school girls going to their prom. Well, maybe they will, but how will they make it work if they have to have this big elimination ceremony of the models every week. I don't see it happening.

Anyway last week has been so busy I didn't have a chance to critique the last episode. Not very exciting, I liked the winning dress, but preferred Louise's number, particularly the high collar. Fatma really brought it off. She is being portrayed as the bitch on the Model show, but I really don't care. She is the best walker and the best looking model. I couldn't believe this week's model show with some crying because their friend was not chosen. Who cares? And what happened to Nina Garcia and Michael Kors the last few weeks? I prefer them to that mummified corpse of a designer they had as a judge last week.

This week the contestants had to make a garment out of newspaper. Johnny utterly failed and then lied to everyone about his first attempt being ruined by a steam iron. Then he cried about how hard it is to be a recovering addict. Then an absolute first, Tim actually badmouthed a contestant after he sent him up to the workroom to clean out his space. I have never seen Tim do that before. Nicholas was a little bitchy and he didn't need to rat Johnny out on the runway, but it did make for drama. BTW, I bought the new comic book Models Inc. which included a feature with Tim Gunn putting on Iron Man's costume and defeating some bad guys who attempt to rob a fashion museum. Definitely cool having a gay icon become a superhero. The art was a lot of fun. I also bought the first two of the series of Archie comics with him marrying Veronica. I get the feeling the whole thing will be a dream, because it begins with Archie walking "up" memory lane and in the second issue Veronica announces she's pregnant. Maybe they go through their whole lives and Archie wakes up as he's about to graduate high school.

Amazing Race 15 starts a week from Sunday. I checked out the new teams on the CBS website. They don't look particularly exciting, but there is a pair of gay brothers and an interracial married couple.