'What's My Line' Dies Again

No sooner do I get used to a daily ritual of watching the previous night's rerun of What My Line from 3 AM than the Game Show Network pulls the plug and starts running Card Sharks instead. As you saw in my previous post, GSN began running WML and I've Got a Secret in the middle of the night just a few weeks ago. Then they aburuptly stopped. It may be they were contractually obligated to show all their episodes before the end of 2010 or they'd have to pay extra. In any event, I don't understand the creative or financial reasons for stopping the WML and IGAS repeats. Nobody is watching at that hour anyway so they may as well show someting that might interest nostalgia buffs like me instead of Card Sharks which was a rather uninteresting game show during the 1980s. Seriously, is anyone DVRing Card Sharks?

GSN used to have a whole lineup of panel shows from the 1950s and 60s on Sunday nights when the network first started, including incredibly obscure titles like The Name's the Same, a What's My Line rip-off featuring panelist Joan Alexander who did the voice of Lois Lane in the Superman radio series and the 1960s cartoon version. The object was the guess the name of the contestant which was the same as a famous person or thing. One young lady challenger was named A. Fish. (Get it?)

When I announced the WML tragedy on Facebook, my cousin Debbie commented that she remembered I used to love WML and IGAS when I was very little, like five years old, and would do imitations of the regular panelists. I don't recall ever imitating Arlene Francis or Dorothy Kilgallen, but I do remember being so obsessed with To Tell the Truth, I transcribed the "affadavits" of the contestants and recorded who was the real person and who were the impostors, keeping all that info in a notebook which I still have (My favorite contestant was Frank Zane, a Mr. Universe, for obvious reasons). We would watch Dark Shadows, have dinner and then TTTT. I also remember the panelists on To Tell the Truth included Kitty Carlisle and hearing a story that Carlisle wore a different dress every day and kept all of them. Her neighbors lost all their possession in a fire and she refused to lend them any clothes. (Well, that was the story anyway.)

The obsession with To Tell the Truth came when the show was in syndication and was on every night at 7PM, followed by What's My Line at 7:30PM. Coincidentally, the moderator of To Tell the Turth during its network run was Bud Collyer who provided the voice of Superman on the radio and the 1960s cartoon series, playing opposite Joan Alexander as Lois. I knew Gary Moore as the host of TTTT during its syndication. WML was hosted by Tony winning actor Larry Blyden who died as a result of a car accident while in Morocco right after the show ended its run. This was all during the 1970s. I guess I wanted to be a regular panelist on one of those shows when I was kid. I couldn't think of a more fun job, playing games and hobnobbing with celebrities.

Scenes from the Life of an Amateur Comic Book Collector (20)--Letters to Lois Lane

In the recent haul of comic books (see previous blog), there are several Lois Lanes from the early 1960s into the 1970s. During this period, Lois was constantly scheming to marry Superman and when she wasn't doing that, she was in the past or on another planet scheming to marry a Superman Substitute--a hero with super muscles and a secret identity--like Astonishing Man, Titanic Man, Super-Male, Achilles in Ancient Greece, Robin Hood, Petronius, etc. It can also be quite revealing to read the letter column and see how it reflects the social mores of the day.

In Lois Lane No. 45 (1963), Elva Evans of Sheffield, Texas, writes "I am 23, a housewife with 3 children, but they are fairly good children, and I keep my house clean. It takes about four hours to clean it and prepare meals, so I have quite a bit of spare time to read, which is my favorite hobby. I just love Lois Lane. She's as cute as a button, always getting into hot water. (She reminds me of Mary Tyler Moore of the Dick Van Dyke Show, the way she is always getting into trouble and crying her pretty little head off.)"

Only four hours to clean and prepare meals? What is this woman, Supergirl? The letter also shows were her priorities are: the home and getting pregnant. Three kids at 23? It was probably common in those days. By fairly good children, does she mean they don't make a lot of noise so Mommy can read her comic books? And BTW, Laura Petrie of the DVD Show cried a lot more than Lois. During the late 1930s and 1940s when Lois was first introduced, she was a lot more daring and independent, always out to get her scoops without Superman's help. Then in the 1950s when soliders returned from the war and everyone wanted a stable homelife, Lois realized her greatest ambition was not to be a top newspaperwoman, but to be Mrs. Superman.

In the same letters column, Alan Dean of Jasksonville, Ind. suggests actors to play the Superman family. He says MTM should play Lois and Richard Egan as Superman. Richard Egan??? I think his biggest credit was A Summer Place as Sandra Dee's father who is having an affair with Dorothy McGuire. Alan also suggests Virgina Gibson as Lana Lang. Who?? I checked imdb and she had small parts in Funny Face and Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. She was also nominated for a Tony Award for Happy Hunting with Ethel Merman. Maybe she had red hair. The topper is his idea for Lex Luther-William Frawley. Fred Mertz as the biggest supervillain ever? The editor rightfully responds to Alan's casting with less than enthuiastic tones: "Frankly, we're not impressed. Most of your nominations involved personalities who are not too widely known. And William Frawley, although an excellent actor, seems too old to play Luthor. We'll throw this open to our readers and invite them to send in nominations which have a better chance of scoring a bull's eye." Oh snap, Alan.

Scenes from the Life of an Amateur Comic Book Collector (14)--Lois Lane Fights the Death Penalty

The most recent comic haul (see earlier post) has yielded a fascinating insight into the mindset of the comic-book industry. Evidently it was quite liberal. In Lois Lane #44, published in 1963, the first story "The Murder of Lana Lang," features Lois being sent to the gas chamber for killing her red-haired rival for Superman's affections, Lana Lang. But it turns out the whole scheme is a stunt cooked up by Lois and Lana to prove the death penalty is cruel and unusual and an innocent person could be sent to their maker because of circumstantial evidence. Lois pretends to fight with Lana then takes her to a desserted island and leaves clues pointing to Lois as the culprit in Lana's supposed demise. Lana will return at the last minute and prove she hasn't been killed and Lois would have been executed for a crime she didn't commit.

But Lana runs into a storm at sea and is knocked unconscious. Lori the mermaid rescues her and Superman manages to straighten everything out. The governor pushes for an end to the death penalty. But strangely, Lois and Lana are not persecuted for attempting to pull over a balloon-boy-type hoax.

An other interesting comic is Prez: First Teen President, a short lived series from the early 1970s in response to the voting age being lowered to 18. In this four-issue series, not only is the voting age lowered but so is the eligibility for president and members of Congress, flooding in an 18-year-old named Prez for President. He appoints his mother as his secretary and an Indian companion named Eagle Free as head of the FBI. Kooky, huh?

In a prescient plot in Prez number 3, a rag-tag army of isolationists not unlike the current Tea Party movement attempts to assassinate the Prez when he pushes for a law banning all hand guns! The rebel army pays its men with phony confederate-like money and their camp is called--wait for it--Valley Forgery. (Knew you'd love that one!) This was in 1972 and that gun-control issue is still with us. The Tea Party-like army, lead by a descendent of George Washington advances on the capital. The forces clash right outside of the White House. Prez proposes he and the leader of the insurrectionist fight hand to hand to decide the outcome. The Washington descendant cheats and substitutes a huge wrestler-type for himself, but the Prez has been trained in Indian combat by Eagle Free and he bests the big bruiser who turns out to be agovernment counterspy. BTW, I bet none of the Tea Party people actually drink tea, they probably think it's all sissy and elitist. Coffee is good enough for them.

And speaking of sissy stuff, one of the newly purchased comics contained a one-page public service announcement called Touchdown for Picasso. In many comics, there would be the equivalent of PSAs offering advice on the right way to study, how to behave on a bus, not dropping out, starting a hobby, having a productive summer rather than just goofing off and reading comics, etc. This one features two kids after school. One says to the other "Hey, my parents have an extra ticket to a Beethoven concert tonight. Wanna go?" Rather than pounding the little poindexter to a pulp, his companion simply says "That's sissy stuff. I wanna be a football player." The miniature barbarian later learns his football hero is not only a classical music lover, but also an amateur painter (horrors!) I doubt this little vignette resulted in an increase in concert attendance among the small fry, but it may have shown an uptick in tolerance for those of us who enjoyed movies like "Gay Purree." That picture deserves an entire column of its own. You could see it as a litmus test for future gayness. Show it to a kid and if he asked "Where can I get the original soundtrack?" you could measure him for his interior-decorator sash right then and there.

Scenes from the Life of an Amateur Comic Book Collector (11)--Comic Smuggling in Times Square

Though I had resolved to cut down on my comic book habit, I came across an incredible deal on Ebay and just couldn't resist. A seller based in NYC was putting up for auction 31 Silver Age DC comics and the bid was only $45. That's less than $2 a book. Maybe the price was so low because they were readers--copies in such poor shape they are only good for reading the comics not for collecting. So I made my top bid $50. What the hell, the guy was in NYC, I wouldn't have to pay postage and handling. I won for $47.50! After a week while the seller had a bad cold, I finally met him in Times Square in front of the Toys R Us on 44th St. and we made the transaction. I felt like a drug smuggler picking up an illegal cache of halucinogentics. Although I shouldn't feel so bad, I did go during lunch and I didn't take more than an hour total, eating my lunch on the subway. He was selling them because he was now collecting science fiction book covers.

Interesting side note: while in Times Square, I spotted the Naked Cowboy for the first time in a while. This is a hunky entertainer who dresses only in a pair of briefs, a cowboy hat and guitar to pose with tourists. It was about 30 degrees and he was getting a lot of attention. Unless I am mistaken this was a different Naked Cowboy that the last one I saw a few years ago. The old one was beginning to put on weight. This one looked a lot younger and buffer. I could be wrong. It could have been the same guy.

Anyway, in addition to the haul of 31 from the Ebay seller, I also recently bought seven Silver Age comics from Time Machine for only $25 and a really beat-up Jimmy Olsen from another shop for $5 (more than it was worth. I should have waited til there was a sale.) Here's the rundown--
Action Comics #344 (beautiful Curt Swan cover, dull Wayne Boring art on the inside)
Adventure #277, 302, 357, 359, 370
The Adventures of Bob Hope #107 (were they really that many Bob Hope comics? Or did he take over another title?)
Challengers of the Unknown #39
The Flash # 130, 141, 183
Fox and Crow #5, 75 (a funny animal title, a genre of which I have very few. #5 is from 1952 which makes it the oldest comic in my entire collection)
Jimmy Olsen # 81, 82, 91, 98, 100, 104 (80 page giant),107, 108, 113 (80 page giant), 115, 129
Lois Lane #81, 88, 90
Sea Devils #13
Strange Adventures #205 (first appearance of Deadman, fantastic Carmine Infantino cover)
Superboy #117, 125, 127, 134, 135, 143, 145, 147 (80 page giant featuring the Legion of Super-Heroes)
Superman Annual #7
Wonder Woman # 131

I haven't read them yet of course so I haven't had a chance to form any commentary. However, I did find something interesting in the Jimmy Olsen #98 (pictured) which I bought at Time Machine a week or so previously. On an episode of The Big Bang Theory from last season, Sheldon, Leonard, Wallowitz, and Raj are arguing about how Superman cleans his super costume since it is just as super as he is. Sheldon had a very funny line about the Man of Steel flying into the sun whose rays burn away any dirt and leave his suit downy fresh--or words to that effect. I thought this was just some funny dialogue the writers came up with that the comics-obsessed Sheldon would say.

But oh no! In Jimmy Olsen #98 in the story "The Four Clocks of Doom" (not the cover story, I might add), our favorite cub reporter is appearing on a TV trivia show answering questions about his best super-buddy. "How does Superman clean his indestrucible uniform?" asks an audience member. "By flying into the sun and letting the flames of old Sol burn away the dust and dirt." So the Big Bang writers were referencing an actual comic. You can imagine Sheldon actually finding the comic and pointing to it, saying "How could you doubt me? If you spent more time on comics and less pining for unavailable women, we wouldn't be having these pointless conversations."

The Kryptonian Time Line Project--Part I

As per my New Year's resolution, I'm going to do something really constructive and figure out that Krpytonian time line I wrote about in earlier blogs.

Lois Lane's attempt to break up Jor-El and Lara. (Lois Lane's Romance with Jor-El, Lois Lane, #59) In one of the most twisted moves of her neurotic life, Lois Lane goes into the past in a misguided attempt to save Krpyton from exploding and romance Jor-El. I guess she was thinking "If I can't have the son, I'll take the father." While on Krypton long before the Els' marriage, Lois tries to prevent the inevitable but is foiled at every turn. The scheming Lois even goes so far as to sabotage Lara at the hairdressers', only to have the scheme backfire and Lois winds with green hair.

KBI Agents While Jor and Lara are still dating, they are working as undercover agents for the Krpton Bureau of Investigation (KBI), Superman #123 "Superman's Return to Krypton." They meet Superman who is there through a magic wish of Jimmy Olsen's but forget all about it when he comes back in Superman #141.

Jor-El and Lara are married (Superman's Return to Krypton, Superman #141) just as Superman winds up on his home world after chasing some space beast so fast he accidentally breaks the time barrier. After numerous attempts to trick fate, Kal-El is determined to out on a brave front and face doom with his parents and new love Lyla Lerrol, Krypton's leading emotion-movie actress. But while filming a movie, Kal is trapped in a prop rocket with a flame-beast whose super-fires shooting from its mouth give the rocket temporary real flight powers. Superman is rocketed into a yellow sun's orbit and regains his powers. He callously concludes he can't change history and returns to the present. In one of many inconsistancies, the city of Kandor is shrunken and stolen by Brianian during this visit. But it was also abducted during Lois Lane's earlier sojourn which takes place years before the Els' marriage.

Superman and Batman drop in. Some years after the marriage,but before the birth of baby Kal-El, Superman and Batman arrive to investigate the first couple of Krypton's brief appearance on modern-day earth (World's Finest #191, "Execution on Krypton"). The Els and Superman have apparently forgotten all about his two earlier visits. (see earlier blog for details of this WF adventure).

To Stop a Predator. At this point, Lois Lane re-enters the picture in her time bubble (still Lois Lane #59, "Lois Lane's Romance with Jor-El.") She can't help herself and before returning to present-day Earth, this twisted woman emerges to give the infant Kal-El a big kiss. How sick can you get? Jor-El aims his newly invented phantom zone ray at her accidentally and she is hurled into the ghost-like dimension (which makes no sense because then she would have disappeared from her earth life and never met Superman.)

Jor-El, Super-Genius. In addition to inventing the Phantom Zone ray, Jor also invents an all-terrain vehicle which can fly, and travel underwater and underground ("The Super-Outlaw from Krypton," Superman #134), and is called the Jor-El.

Even More Earth People Visit. According to "The Man Who Saved Kal-El's Life" (Action #281), an Earth scientist named Prof. Dunn also appeared on Krpyton by means of a matter transmitter Jor-El instructed him to build. The plan was to mass produce the transmitter to save the Kyrpton population. While in the El home, Prof. Dunn helps save baby Kal-El's life when the kiddy is bitten by a snake. There are references to Jor-El monitoring Earth and seeing Al Capone and Babe Ruth, placing this in the 1920s. Dunn returns to earth, but the scheme fails when Krypton blows up ahead of schedule and Dunn's matter transmitter malfunctions so that not even the Els can be saved.

In World's Finest #146 ("Batman, Son of Krypton"), we learn of yet another Earth scientist to wend his way to our favorite planet--actually he saw it by long-distnace telescope. This loser's name is Dr. Ellison, and by sheerest coincidence, he was a neighbor of Baby Bruce Wayne, the future Batman.This "lonely bachelor" would baby-sit little Bruce and dress him up in Kryptonian clothes and have the poor tyke pretend he was a native of the planet and had superpowers on Earth. This guy was even more twisted than Lois Lane.

Krypto and Beppo In test experiments for the rocket which will bring baby kal-El to earth, super dog Kyrpto and super monkey Beppo are launched into orbit. Jor-El is not sued by the Kryptonian equivalent of the ASCAP.

Let's Not Forget Mon-El. Yet another alien befriends Jor and Lara. A youth from the planet Daxam (Superboy #89, "Superboy's Big Brother") crash lands in their back yard. After several weeks, the ship is repaired, but the kid gets amnesia when he crash lands on earth--how unlucky can you get? In his mixed-up memory, he thinks he's from Krypton and is Superboy's older brother. Daxam is similar to Krypton in that its inhabitants would get superpowers on earth. Anyway, Superboy calls him Mon-El because he was found a Monday. After the truth is discovered and Mon recovers his memory, Superboy sends him to the Phantom Zone for 1,000 years (he's dying from lead poisoning and a cure isn't discovered until then by Brianiac 5). The weird part is, we never find out Mon's real name and no one seems to care.

Jimmy Olsen Sticks his Big Nose In. Trying and failing miserably to save Krypton seems to be the thing to do among Superman's buttinsky pals, so Jimmy Olsen takes a shot in "Olsen's Time Trip to Save Krypton" (Jimmy Olsen, #101). Things get really screwy because Jimmy arrives on Krpyton just as Kandor is stolen, but in this version, Jor-El and Lara are married and baby Kal-El is a few years old. Jimmy visits Jor-El and when the erstwhile cub reporter shows the great scientist a future picture of his son, Jor admits to recognizing him from the events of Superman #141. However, he dismisses Jimmy's wild tales about Earth and Superman and tosses him out as a nutbag. Jimmy falls in love with a Krytonian girl named Miri, attempts to warn the population about the impending doom, and but fails. He whisks himself back to the present as the planet meets its end.

Argo City cuts loose. A lot was going on at the big-bang moment. As baby Kal-el's rocket is launched, an entire chuck of Krypton containing Argo City breaks off which is conventiently covered with a plastic bubble and has enough food to survive for many years. Never mind that this is physically impossible. On this impossible chunk of life lives Zor-El, Jor's brother, and his wife. While floating aimslessly in space, they give birth to a girl who, after Argo city is destroyed, is a saved in a manner similar to that of her cousin by crashing landing on earth. She later becomes Supergirl.

Scenes from the Life of an Amateur Comic Book Collector (7)--The Phila. Connection

Two weeks ago I visited my parents in Philadelphia and spent Sunday morning at the Philly Comic-Con held at the Ramada Inn by the airport. It was quite small and took up only two ballrooms. No celebrities giving out autographs or panels, just comic-book dealers. I didn't spend as much as at the last one (see previous blog). Here's a breakdown of the haul:

Archie as Pureheart the Powerful # 3--Archie and Reggie as superheroes

Brave and the Bold #120

Demon # 6, 11 (almost completes the entire run except from #1)

Detective Comics #310, 319, 325

Flash #169 (80 page Giant)

From Beyond the Unknown #1 (completes the entire run)

Inferior Five #4

Kamandi #3 (almost complete run of Kirby issues except for #1)

Lois Lane #60

Magnus Robot Fighter #36

Mystery in Space #28, 86, 99, 101

Strange Adventures #111, 174

Strange Tales #142

Tales of Suspense #82

Super DC Giant--Challengers of the Unknown #S-25

Thor #156 (two pages of story missing, damnit!), 160, 162, 169.

Some impressions of this haul and the last one: Lois Lane and Superman are really dysfunctional. In Lois Lane #60 (see illustration above), Lois and Lana pretend to go into suspended animation to be awakened thousands of years in the future when Superman while be dead...dead...dead! Supie attempts to bring them back by flying into the future, but their bodies disintegrate. It's all a practical joke to teach the man of steel a lesson for being short-tempered with the gals for demanding so much of his time--needing to be rescued and all that. They all laugh it off. "Oh, I thought you were dead and you scared the shit out of me, but I guess I deserved it. Ha! Ha!"

In a Superboy issue I bought at the Big Apple con (#121), a teenaged Jor-El, Superboy's father, arrives in Smallville from Kyrpton thanks to a time machine. Superboy doesn't want to reveal the true nature of their relationship since he would have to tell his future dad his world will be destroyed. "I won't reveal I'm his son," says Superboy's thought balloon, "for that would lead to telling him of Krypton's doom laying ahead. He might brood. I'll just have to enjoy my father's companionship as a...er...boy pal!" (boldfacing was in the comic) Ewwww! That is wrong on some many levels. Not the least of which is the brooding.

The Strange Adventures and Mystery in Spaces are strangely beautiful, as is the very first From Beyond the Unknown which was a reprint series from the 1970s, collecting sci-fi stories of the 1950s and early 60s from the forementioned mags. In Strange Adventures #111, published in 1959, there's a story of Earth 100 years in the future. The Star Blazer returns from a 50 year mission with crew as young as when they left, proving the theory of relativity (I think). A Spacelator breaks down, causing traffic to be stalled for a hour. A sudden downpour is halted by weather control stations. The busy day ends with an exciting broadcast from the badlands of Venus where an explorer is trapped and a quick game of space polo between earth and Pluto. Of course earth wins.

In Mystery in Space #86, the usual Adam Strange story is accompanied by a tale of The Star Rovers--a trio of space adventurers consisting of writer-hunter Homer Glint, markswoman and former beauty queen Karel Sorensen, and star athlete Rick Purvis. Each of the three encounters the same space mystery and they each have a different version of the solution. It's a sort of sci-fi Rashomon. I find these simplistic futuristic tales so fascinating. There's also Star Hawkins, a 21st century private eye with a robot secretary, and Space Cabbie, a galactic hack driver.

More in future blogs, I'm getting deeper and deeper into this like the guys on Big Bang Theory. In a recent episode, Wallowitz bet Sheldon his Fantastic Four with the first appearance of Silver Surfer versus Sheldon's Flash of Two Worlds with the Silver and Golden Age Flashes. The sad part is I knew exactly what they were talking about.