The Amazing Race Episode 2--Lion or Chicken with Its Head Cut Off

Since the new season of Amazing Race is underway and before we get to the analysis of the second episode, this would be a good place to tell you my true-life Amazing Race story: A few years ago, I took my friend Lydia to see 110 in the Shade with Audra McDonald presented by the Roundabout Theater Company at Studio 54. It was Cinqo de Mayo and a few days before my birthday, so after the show we decided to have some margaritas at Iguana, a Mexican bar-restaurant on the same block as the theatre.

As we were drinking, of course we starting talking about TAR which was going to conclude that Sunday night, it was the All-Star edition. Suddenly across the room I saw a guy who I thought was Ian from Season 3. (The ex-Marine with the wife named Teri who kept yelling at her.) I said to Lydia, "OMG, that's Ian." She said I was drunk and so obsessed with the Race I was seeing things. But then I saw more contestants from past shows including Dave and Mary, the Kentucky coal miner and his wife, and Tom and Terri, the gay couple from the same season, and many others. It turned out they were all there for the All-Stars finale and CBS had flown them in.

We said hi to all of them and they were very nice. The waiters kept coming up to us and saying "Who are these people? Are they famous?" We spoke at length with the guy who wound up winning (I forget his name). If only I'd had a camera. Oh well. Back to the present.

This week's episode was all about humiliating Lance (pictured with his partner Kerry), the beefy and annoying Boston lawyer. At the top of the show he was bragging about how he was a lion and all the other teams are zebras and gazelles who may be faster, but as a lion he would defeat them all because he's so majestic and hunky or something. He then proceeded to demonstrate he's more a chicken with its head cut off than a lion. As the teams were let off in Mito, Vietnam, they had to figure out they needed to get to Ho Chi Minh City which was a two-hour cab ride away. Lance and Kerri didn't even know where they were and thought they were in Ho Chi Minh already. After some yelling and screaming, they got wise and found the clue at the dragon puppet theatre. Then they couldn't figure out the clue was inside the capsule they pulled from the dragon's mouth. They stumbled and panicked all the way to next-to-last place, letting Zev and Justin beat them. I loved when Phil asked if Lance was the most competitive person and the race. He answered he'd wrestle Phil right there. Phil laughed and said no, he could see how strong Lance was. Then Zev spoke up and said "We'll take him on, Phil." I love Zev! Don't let that bully get in your way. You beat him to the mat!

Sooner or later Lance is going to go down. And it is going to be so sweet to watch that giant ego get deflated. Just like Rob and Amber whose 15 minutes of fame ran out a long time age.

I also enjoyed Ron and Marcy who were good sports when they got eliminated. They just made the wrong choice and picked the word challenge which evidently took much longer.

Summary: Day 5: Cei Bai to Mito by boat. Everybody gets first clue at about 5:50 AM. Mito to Ho Chi Minh City by two-hour cab ride. Dragon puppet theatre, Word Play or Child's Play detour, Chop Shop road block. Globetrotters come in first, win trip to Aruba. Ron and Marcy eliminated.