The Amazing Race Season Premiere--Lying Poker Players and a Nasty Beefy Lawyer

Let me tell you how obsessed I am with The Amazing Race. For this evening's season premiere, I actually took notes! This is definitely my favorite show currently on the air and perhaps ever--I will have to do on a blog on my favorite shows of all time, but that can wait. This is the only show I actually download on DVD so I can watch the episodes again and again. I'm pissed off that only Seasons 1 and 7 are on DVD sets whereas you buy the entire series of crap like Saved by the Bell. I also hate that goddamn football-and sometimes golf-almost always runs overtime so I have to DVR the show right TAR to get it all recorded and I zip through the end of 60 Minutes to get to the beginning. Luckily I just saw that Cold Case will be two hours after this season and I'll have to DVR this new show Three Rivers.

Anyway, I've always loved this show because I can imagne myself doing it. I've been a a lot of the cities on the show and my friend Diane and I applied to be one once, but we were never chosen. Another time, my friend Lydia and I were talking about the show over drinks and the nearly the whole cast was in the bar. I will have to do a separate blog about that whole incident.

But to tonight's two-hour season premiere. WARNING: SPOILER ALERT! If you have not seen the episode yet, do not read any further.

I thought it was pretty cheap of them to bring the contestants in on buses when they've come in before on biplanes and hydrofoils. This seems like an interesting group with some interactions we haven't seen before, like the professional poker players Maria and Tiffany lying about their profession and saying they work with homeless people. It serves them right that they've got crushes on the cute brothers who are both gay. Right away I do not like Lance and Keri--Lance is going to be the one I want eliminated every episode and I will not breathe easy until he's toast. I was praying he would not find the right license plate and his beefy, arrogant, Boston lawyer ass would be outta there. But it was the yoga instructors from the hood (HA!, like they were from any hood) failed and became the first team ever eliminated at the starting line. That was a great twist and it got the race off to an intense start. I actually said "Wow!" out loud--I was alone at the time--when Phil made that announcement.

I'm glad they did not spend a lot of time at the airport. That is the most boring part of every episode. Buying tickets is not that heart-stopping. In Tokyo, the game-show challenge Sushi Roulette was a scream. I think they may have gotten the idea from ABC's I Survived a Japanese Game Show. The giant roulette wheel, the graphics and the voice-over when they had to eat the wasabi provided a nice contrast from the usual first challenge. Karma hit Maria and Tiffany for lying about their occupation when Maria had to eat two wasabi bombs and they lost their way and a few of the tourists they were supposed to lead.

I absolutely love Zev and Justin. I think I'm supposed to since Zev has that Rain Man thing going on--What is Asperberger's disease anyway? I've heard of it, but I'm not sure what it is. It was so sweet of Zev to give his jacket to the chicken guy in Vietnam. I hate Maria and Tiffany even more when they said they didn't like those two. Then Zev commented he didn't think they were really counsellors to the homeless because they didn't have a "kind" vibe. Zev is a genius. He is my favorite so far, even though Sam and Dan are gay and cuter. I got angrier at Lance in the Tokyo airport when he said "Those bastards (meaning Maria and Tiffany) should have been eliminated." I thought, "What a pig, that's the game." But then I found out what Maria and Tiffany are really like with their Zev-hating ways and I thought they were bastards too.

So they got to Vietnam and the poker players caught up with everybody and had to perform their speed bump--a task no one else has to do. It was ridiculously easy, take some soup to some guy and watch him eat it. All of the speed bumps in the past few seasons are insanely simple, maybe they want to add suspense so teams at the bottom have a chance to stay in the game.

Meanwhile, everybody else had to slap some mud around some trees when local villagers laugh as they slip and slide. I wonder if the producers encourage the locals to yuck it up as the crazy Americans make asses of themselves performing what are for the local people everyday tasks. In yet another challenge, they had to herd ducks which is always fun. The interracial couple and the hot-blooded couple lost their cool and the ducks sensed it, scattering every which way. It was a battle for last place and the angry hotheads lost.

LEG ONE (first hour)--Day 1: Los Angeles, first team eliminated--yoga instructors--at the starting line; Day 2: Arrive Tokyo-- Japanese game show challenge: Sushi Roulette; Meghan and Chayne 1st place, win: a trip to Aspen and Vale. Maria and Tiffany last but not eliminated, given two-hour penalty and speed bump.

LEG TWO (second hour)--Day 3: Leave Tokyo for Ho Chi Mihn City, bus ride from Ho Chi Mihn City to Cai Bei (boats all closed); Day 4: Cai Bei--road block and detours with mud and ducks, Gary and Matt (Pinkie and the Brain, father and son team) 1st place, win two kayaks, hot-blooded angry couple eliminated.

Final summation: Great start to Season 15. New twists and challenges, almost no time at the airports (always a plus); generous use of split screens. Favorite teams: Sam and Dan, Zev and Justin; Least favorite: Lance and Keri, Maria and Tiffany. Also enjoyed the Chanel No. 5 commercial with the Billie Holiday vocal and the Monte Carlo locations.