The Amazing Race 18--Episode 1

Season 18 of The Amazing Race started last night and it looks like a lot more fun than the last reteaming of previous contestants. Best of all, Boston Rob is nowhere to be seen. I saw his hateful puss on the cover of TV Guide for his Survivor return and nearly lost my lunch. I thought I was rid of that bitch, I said to the checkout girl at the Price Chopper. I have no idea who the other bozo is on the cover with him, touting their so-called intense rivalry, but I hope he beats Rob's 15-minutes-of-fame ass. Thank God I do not care for Survivor, I'd go nuts otherwise. Another side note: have you noticed how TV Guide is no longer the most important mag around? Thanks to DVR and the handy program grid on the cable system, nobody needs it anymore.

But I digress. The episode opens in Palm Springs and Phil informs us it's really windy there--the second windiest place on Earth (What's no. 1?). The 11 teams gather (see previous blog for my thoughts on each) and Phil calls them a bunch of losers. And OMG what is with Jaime and Cara's hair? Wherever they got their coloring done needs to be on Tabatha's Salon Takeover right away. Their henna rinse makes them look like two Lincoln head pennies. Zev and Justin are wearing Harlem Globetrotter T-shirts for some reason. We later see they giving Flight Time and Big Easy a big clue. Word to the wise: help teams that are weaker than you, not stronger. Learn from Margie who helped Kent and Vyxen and then said in her interview: We need to have a team we can beat at the end.

After the teams find a paper airplane amidst a bunch of windmills--except for stupid but cute Amanda and Kris who are still mad at being U-turned several years ago--they take off for Australia. It takes a 20-hour flight to get there from the West Coast. I know because the press agent working with Geoffrey Rush told me the actor took the trip twice to get to LA from Down Under for the Golden Globes and then the SAGs. The first flight became the second when a passenger had the gall to suffer a heart attack and caused them to be delayed in Hawaii.

Once in Sydney, they had swim with sharks--repeat of a task from the season with Chip and Reichen--then decipher a clue with flags and letters. I marvel at the lack of culture among these people. Are you telling me none of them had heard of the phrase, Between the devil and the deep blue sea? I shouldn't be surprised since they didn't know who Chekhov or Kafka were.

Jaime and Cara incured bad karma for their awful hair by having their boat turn over and one of the crew step on Cara's foot. "Get off my foot, peasant!"

Miss Kentucky--where they never lie, according to her--and her dad won the Express Pass, but it turns out they had to keep racing. I like that we have a two-parter at the very beginning, but it may also be because they sometimes do 90 minute premieres and they are just trying to save money by spending two episodes in one location--Sydney.

Mallory and Gary--one win--Express Pass
Day One--Palm Springs, CA (20 hour-flight to Sydney)
Day Two--Syndey