"What I Should Have Said Was..."

Earlier this week I saw Ruddigore performed by the New York Gilbert and Sullivan Players (review on Back Stage here) with my friend Lydia. At the curtain call, I told her I had to go to the can and would meet her in the lobby. She thought I said I would meet her outside the theatre. Anyway, we missed each other for a few minutes and she came into the lobby where I was waiting. She told told me while she was waiting outside for me that David Letterman came out with his wife. Lydia didn't say anything to him, their eyes did meet and he realized she recognized him which probably happens all the time. We joked how the wife was forcing him to go to a Gilbert and Sullivan operetta because he humiliated her on national TV by admitting his numerous affairs with staffers.

Anyway I probably wouldn't have said anyting to Dave either or asked for an autograph, but I would have liked to have had the presence of mind to say "Crush Leno when he returns to 11:30." I hope Dave does destory Leno. I can't understand why NBC thinks Leno will get all his viewers back and beat Dave when Leno's 10:00 show has been such an utter and dismal failure. Maybe because fewer people watch late night than prime time and they don't need as many viewers? I never thought Leno was funnier than Dave. Jay just lucked out because Hugh Grant happened to have sex with a prostitute (whatever happened to her, by the way?) and he was booked on Leno's show immediately afterwards. Why did those people stay with Jay? And why did they desert him when he went to prime time? I never watched him and don't think he was ever funny, so it's all a mystery to me. I just hope Leno is crushed when he returns. Maybe he made a pact with the devil like Haiti and is now reaping God's vengeance. (I will have to do a separate blog on the hatefulness of Pat Robertson and Rush Limbaugh.)

Just missing Letterman reminded me of the times I encountered a celebrity and later thought of the perfect witty thing to say. Like the time Jerry and I were visiting friends in Park Slope and Senator Chuck Schumer was walking towards us. I said "Good evening, Senator." And he said "Hi, fellows." That was pretty good. But I should have said, "When you see the President, please tell him he can have my $300 back if that will help." The then-Republican controlled Congress had just passed a law at W.'s insistence giving everyone a tax refund of said amount which was supposed to stimulate the economy.

Another time even longer ago, I saw MacBeth at the Public Theatre with Alec Baldwin and Angela Bassett. Afterwards I saw Johnny Cochran, OJ Simpson's defense lawyer, leaving the theatre. On the subway ride home, I suddenly realized I could have said "So, do you think you could have gotten Macbeth off?"