Batman on The Hub

Batman, the hit 1966-69 TV version of the comic book hero, has recently begun a run on the new cable network The Hub. Now is my chance to get all my favorite episodes on DVD. As you may know, this is probably the ONLY TV series not to be on DVD--I mean they have all five seasons of Gilligan's Island, Family Ties, The Odd Couple, HR Puffinstuff, the Brady Bunch and myriad other pieces of video crap preserved for all time, but not the Caped Crusader. It has something to do with who controls the rights. If the series were on DVD, it would make a fortune. I'm worried the reruns are snipping out little pieces here and there in order to fit in a few more commercials. Anyway, I have some episodes from when the series was on American Family Life every Fri.

My favorite episodes were from the second season when the humor was very campy but had not yet descended to the utter bizarreness of the Batgirl third season. That was when the budget was totally slashed. Anytime the script called for a set that wasn't already built--such as stately Wayne Manor, the Batcave, Commissionner Gordon's office or Barbara Gordon's apartment--they used a black void with some furniture thrown in.

The second season had such kooky villains as Egghead, The Black Widow (as played by Tallullah Bankhead), The Archer, Clock King, Ma Parker (Shelley Winters), Marsha, Queen of Diamonds, the Minstrel, etc.

Bruce Wayne lived in an adolescent world, the only recurring female character--until Batgirl showed up--was Aunt Harriet, a substitute mother for the orphaned Bruce and Dick--or a house mother in the all-male fraternity of the Batcave. Aunt Harriet is a fascinating figure. She is supposed to be the aunt of Dick Grayson. In the comic book, Dick is abandoned when his trapeze-artist parents are killed but Bruce Wayne steps in and adopted the kid. The rather patrician Mrs. Harriet Cooper doesn't seem to be the type to have acrobats in her family. The real reason Madge Blake as Mrs. Cooper was brought into the Wayne household was because it was feared a household full of men would seem too gay. Yes, sexy Madge made the Dynamic Duo seem as straight as a quiver of arrows.

If you look in the Batman comic books pre-1966, you occasionally catch a glimpse of Bruce and Dick sharing a room. Yes, they sleep in separate beds, but doesn't it seem a bit odd for a 30-ish strapping bachelor, and a millionaire to boot, to be sharing a bedroom in a huge mansion with an adoloscent boy? What did Aunt Harriet have to say about that? And didn't she get suspicious that those two were always off bird watching or fishing together? "Hello, Commissioner Gordon, can I have your child abuse deptartment?"

But I never saw any of those other levels when I watched Batman as a kid. It was an action-adventure show to me, not a campy spoof. Just now I watched the one with Sandman and Spryng Byington as J. Pauline Spaghetti. At eight, it went straight over my head that her character's name was a take-off on J. Paul Getty. But even I got tired of it in third season when they jumped the shark and added Batgirl. Still, I often think about what would have happened in a fourth season which would have happened if ABC hadn't destroyed the Batcave set after cancelling the show. NBC was willing to give the Dynamic Duo another shot, but they didn't want to spend $100,000 to build another Batcave.

I had to be satisfied with the Batman cartoons CBS was showing along with Superman, Aquaman, and other DC heroes in the early 1970s. At least in those, Aunt Harriet has mysteriously vanished. They were actually pretty good and Ted Knight did almost all the voices including Penquin, Joker, Riddler, Commissioner Gordon, the narrator, Mr. Freeze, and dozens of others. There were new weird villains including the Judge and Simon the Pieman--that was an exciting segment. The later Batman cartoons with Adam West and Burt Ward doing the voices were pretty stupid because they included Bat-Mite.

There's some much to write about Batman and I've just scracthed the Bat-surface.

Memories of a TV Childhood--Part 3--The Funniest Moments in TV History

1. That episode of Maude where Vivian was trying out someting called Total Womanhood, a reaction to Women's Lib in which the wife is supposed to be all sexy and submissive instead of an "aggressive female." Maude and Walter go over to see Vivian who has been acting strange lately. She answers the door stark naked except for Saranwrap. You can only see her from the neck up. She was obviously expecting her husband Arthur. She screams and slams the door. Maude and Walter stare at each other for about 30 second totally deadpan.

2. That episode of The Dick Van Dyke Show where Rob accused Laura of opening his mail. He sends for an inflatible raft. Laura can't resist her curiosity and opens it. The raft inflates and now she can't hide it. Millie and Jerry come over from next door and just the way they laugh so hard without uttering a sound is one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

3. That episode of The Mary Tyler Moore Show where Paul Sand is an accountant auditing Mary. He sends her a box of chocolates. Rhoda starts to eat one and says "I don't know why I should bother to eat this. I should just apply it to my hips directly." At the age of 11, I had this image of Valerie Harper smearing her hips with chocolate.

4. That episode of The Carol Burnett Show when Carol as Eunice and Vickie Lawrence as Mama were having a fight. Lawrence delivered the line "Eunice, you gotta hole in your dingy! Your pilot light blown out! You got splinters in the windmills of your mind." Carol then breaks character and cracks up, sputtering "That's a new one, Mama." Obvioulsy Lawrence either ad-libbed the last one or the writers gave it to her as a surprise. She stayed in character and said "Now you look at me when I'm talking to you, Eunice!"

5. Laugh-In. There was one show where one of the running gags was Lily Tomlin as a strict librarian and Larry Hovis as a patron.
Hovis: Do you have any books on manners?
Tomlin: No we don't, stupid.

Hovis: Do you have the autobiography of William F. Buckley?
Tomlin: Yes, you go down that aisle and take a radical turn to the right.

Hovis: Do you have the autobiography of Lawrence Welk?
Tomlin: Yes.
Hovis: Is there a penalty if you keep it late?
Tomlin: Yes, if you don't return it after three weeks you have to keep it.

Speaking of Laugh-In, I'll never forget when the producer of the show was on the David Frost Show and he said they did 250 jokes every show. Of course, the next time Laugh-In was on, I counted every joke. And it totaled about 252.

6. On The Jetsons, daughter Judy was once again bitten by the love bug. Rosie the Robot Maid was sick of it. "This is Miss Judy in love, tra-la-la, tra-la-la" she said and pretend to prance around as best a robot can. "This is Mis Judy out of love, eh-heh, eh-heh" and then she bends over and moans. "I never sounded like that," Judy says. "I bet you could if you tried real hard," Rosie answers. My brother and I started imitating Rosie, going "Eh-heh" and moaning at the least provocation.

7. The episode of Batman with Tallulah Bankhead. She has them trapped in a giant electronic web and is open to unleash two spiders on them. "Well, dahlings, you may be caped and you may be dynamic. But to me you are a crashing BORE! So bye-bye, bat-baby."

8. On the Today Show they were interviewing people who were the subject of weird stories in the National Enquirer (nominated for a Pulitzer Prize this year for their John Edwards coverage). One woman claimed she had a toaster possessed by the devil. She displayed samples of toast with pictures of the antichrist scratched out of the burnt part. She put in a piece of bread and it caught fire. "So, why do you keep this toaster if it's so much trouble," the interviewer asked. "Well, you know, in spite of everything, it still makes a pretty good piece of toast."